My day started out so good and it ended so bad. Oh Lord, please give me strength. I ate so much, and I’m eating again tomorrow. I think I will eat tomorrow, take xantrax and such, then on tuesday fast and take the pills. Then wednesday night I will be eating. I think I can do that.
My new room mate is back and it’s so wierd. She doesn’t speak great english and I just don’t want to like not get along or whatever. And I don’t want her to think I’m crazy because of my obsession about my weight. I will just do things when she isn’t around, she has class at 9 tomorrow morning and mine isn’t until 10, but I’m getting breakfast at 9.15 so I am going to check out the book situation before that. I might not get a chance to weigh myself until tuesday morning. I don’t weigh myself during the day or night, only when I first wake up after I pee.
Speaking of the bathroom…I swear I have a bashful bowel syndrome, because for me it is the hardest thing to go when I know people could walk in at any time and hear me. I mean, who thought of public bathrooms to begin with and why did they have to? I think I’m going to need a stronger laxative, because I get stopped up. But I can’t have something that will make me implode/explode. And it has to be something cheap. I might have to wait to do any of this shopping until I’m at home and C can take me. I will get money from the rents and we can go to p-town or something. I am just so afraid that I will screw myself over with eating. AHHH I don’t want to!
I am in love with everyone who leaves comments, you are all so sweet. I will go comment tomorrow because I have to go to bed tonight but thank you ever so much!
Dirty Sean 
Have a nice sleep. Mmmm, sleep, I wish I could go back to bed now but [damn!] I’ve got school. *Sobs*
The chain-booklet: Carrie spent time making this gorgeous booklet, which had lots of blank pages and then everyone’s address at the back of it. Then she posted it out to someone, they added a page or two of anything they fancied [information about them, thinspiration, poetry, photographs, etc.] and then they posted it on and on. . . So that how it go’s. =)
Take care.
Aw I’m sorry tonight wasn’t too good! That’s alright though.. just stay strong the next couple days and you’ll be fine!! You can do it! Good luck!
hey ❤ ..
the pound came back but will be lost today.
i know exaktly what you mean! i never have laxatives so i make my own (mix orange juice and pepsi together) and it usually works .. but everybody hears it! once i did it at 10pm then went to sleep and it started working in the morning .. in SCHOOL.
i had to run to the bathroom and it was so loud .. and when i came out one of my closest friends was like “NATALIE WAS THAT YOU” and i was like no .. of course it wasnt.
do you think the laxatives are working for you? i know theres pills and then there’s some grain thing i keep seeing. its like powder. and it has like 60 cals per adult serving or something i read.
i need laxatives asap.
stay strong <3youre doing fantastic.
Stay strong this week and I’m sure you’ll do great!
and good luck with the roomate!
stay strong!
<333
Hey, I just found your site. Just wanted to say I like it, and I’m a Christian and in college too. What are your stats? I’m 5’0″ and currently about 93 lbs…trying to get to 90 and possibly a little lower.
Anyway, I subscribed…hope you don’t mind:)
Take care and comment back!
Liz
I love your layout now. Lindsay is just so pretty.. and thanks for all of your support.
agh i hate having to go to the toilet when theres someone else nearby. i think everyone gets a bit paranoid about it lol. maybe try eating loads of veggies and fruit for a day? cheap and *gently* effective haha…
anywhoo, good luck! 🙂
-kate xxx
i feel the same way about EVERYTHING you said… & i need to get some laxies but im sooo afraid to use them bahhh. i love your new layout, too. i think lindsay looks so gorgeous in that dress!! xo
hey!hope ur doing greati hate public bathrooms toooo yuchh(but i guess i dont wanna hold my pee in for a long time so i have to use them lol)<333
I know what you mean. I’m so afraid of my roommates walking by to the bathroom and noticing me weighing myself and stuff. I only weigh myself first thing in the morning too, but this morning I didn’t have time. Ugh, the thing about laxatives is that it takes like 12 hrs. after you take it for anything to happen, so you have to know you’re going to screw up 12 hours in advance for it to do any good. Stay strong, dear, you can do it! ❤ Lara
i hate public bathrooms too..ahh i hate then!! stay strong hun..you are doing amazing. <33
thanks for the comment! I have lost 14 pounds which is great… so, I guess I’m almost halfway to my goal…anyways, well I hope you have a great day…
youre doing wonderful, it sounds like you have a plan! thats great, love! just stay strong and focused. i know you can do it!yeah, im not sure about the guy. or her, shes so desperate. and shes gorgeous. im not sure what to do..im young, i hope ill find someone, haha. much love and all my support ❤