Category Archives: Holidays

Dirty Dozen: Easter Thanks

20 Sunday Apr 2014

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  1.  I am so grateful for the friends I have made who I don’t see very often, which is quite a few of them these days.  I am even grateful that I don’t see them too often because it makes the time that I do spend with them become more important.
  2. I am thankful for my family, even though I want to kill them all once a day.  Without them I would not be who I am today.
  3. A year ago on Easter my parents and I decided to check out a little church in the Mills because we were hoping against hope that there would be a church in the area to plug in to.  God faithfully provided us with a place that would become our community, and it’s been such a blessing.
  4. As I am currently sick I am grateful that generally I am not.
  5. If music were not a thing, if it didn’t exist… well, let’s not talk crazy.  I’m so glad it is.
  6. Daylight makes everything better.  I’m so happy that it stays lighter later in the day.  The sun really has been missed.
  7. Speaking of sun, I get to go visit my dear friend in Texas and hopefully meet her brand new son in less than 2 weeks!  I know I’ll be complaining about the heat, but I get to see her and I’ve missed her very much!
  8. I am thankful that while I have been sick I have been able to just rest my body.  It shouldn’t seem like a big deal, because generally unemployment suuuuuuucks, but if I couldn’t just snug up in my bed yesterday I would not have made it to church to paint faces of children this morning.
  9. I am thankful that God is still, for some reason I don’t understand, pursuing my heart.  He is relentless in his pursuit, and for some reason wants to make sure I get to be the one that celebrates Christ’s fulfillment of the law and victory over death. He just keeps winning me over.
  10. I am grateful for creativity, and being able to make things with my hands.
  11. Thank God that bugs don’t live inside my room.  Thank you Jesus!
  12. And I am thankful that even when I am running on empty and almost completely dry I can still manage to find things to be thankful for, even with a small list, because it will lead to a bigger one.

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Thought Trail for Valentine’s Day.

10 Monday Feb 2014

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Being a single woman on Valentine’s day has, in years past, given me yet another day of the week to be bitter and resentful. Watching all the romantic comedies, the special Valentine’s day episodes of my favorite shows, and just seeing Facebook posts of other people being happily in love has made me want to throw my electronic device into the ocean. It would be so satisfying!
But my attitude problem when it comes to all things in the romance section of the card aisle of every drugstore is not something that brings me joy. It’s not something I’m ashamed of because I lost my shame towards just about everything a long time ago, but it’s not something that edified me in the slightest. It gives me the opportunity to look at my past and be resentful of my own decisions. It gives me a chance to sing along to The Chain by Fleetwood Mac with complete conviction. It always gives me a chance to drink alcohol to my face. But none of that can be described as productive, joyful, or peaceful.yearsSpeaking of romantic comedies and the like, they really give us quite a warped view of what relationships will be like. So many of the movies out there feed us lines about what love should be like, and how the person you are going to be with should be, but it’s generally a lot of propaganda so that we keep falling for the same clichéd story lines. Not going to the new Rom-Com because it’s emotional porn for women? That’d be stupid when you can take a quote from it and put it in your Facebook profile so that your twisted-by-the-media view of love is up there for everyone to see!
Even the movie Juno (which I do take a cue from when it comes to a lesson in love: be BFFs) has become overhyped for a quote about love that just doesn’t work in reality.junoI’d also like to point out that there are plenty of classic authors that I’d like to punch in the face for making us believe that british men can woo like no others. There are more than a few girls out there waiting for their Mr. Darcy, believing that people like him exist in reality.mrdarcyGetting hit on generally leads to dashed hopes and broken dreams of romantic eloquence.pantspartyFor single girls with expectations (I’d say high expectations, but honestly I think “8th grade reading level” and “has all teeth” aren’t high expectations. They are normal expectations.) there is a fine line to walk when it comes to accepting the status of being single. At this moment in time, I’m actually quite content with where I’m at. I am not lonely because I live with my family, and I’m disillusioned to the pandering of romantic drama on the screens. But sometimes being single can look more like a surrender to spinster-hood, and you wake up one day discovering that you’ve crocheted Christmas presents for everyone you know 8 months early while watching Netflix and petting your cats. Worse, there are times where you feel so desperate for what (it seems) everyone else has that you end up lowering your own standards and just making due with someone who is interested in you.
mindy2mindy1After making those choices I always remember why I am not supposed to be let out of the house without an adult. And I always remember how important it was to have those standards in the first place.aliceConversations where you look for sympathy can become the most rage inducing experiences that have ever happened, and this is coming from a girl who has regularly documented rage blackouts. The most obnoxious of these for me are with family members. Inevitably the question pops up somehow, in my extended family it’s usually phrased very nonchalantly.
“So, anyone special in the picture?”
Well…lovelifeWhich leads to their expounding upon the benefits of using a dating service on the world-wide web.
Honestly, I do know some people who have met on different dating sites but that doesn’t make me want to join one. I have seen way too many shady things happen in the past because of them, and I don’t want to lie on the profile to make myself more attractive. Hobbies?judgingAnd every guy loves the outdoors, and sports, and fresh air for some reason. Meanwhile I just want to be left alone to read a book in the climate controlled room of my choosing.outdoorsI have way too many quirks and opinions and bad habits to be someone’s cup of tea, especially if it’s based on an online profile. And I’m just fine with that. I’m even fine with being given crap because I’m not comfortable with having a profile on an online dating service, even if that makes ME the weird one. I’m used to it. And as I’ve already mentioned, right now I’m enjoying being exactly where I am and seeing what becomes of me. 30rockxmendirty

This Year…

03 Friday Jan 2014

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A bad habit I’m going to break: How about… procrastination? That’d be a great one to break because it would get me into a pattern of actually accomplishing things, including breaking other bad habits.
A new skill I’d like to learn: This will be the year of the driver’s license, may my mother nag me until I’m dead if I don’t accomplish this goal. Also, perhaps I will be exploring the Gemology courses that she has taken. She’s a good tutor, and she already has the books.
A person I hope to be more like: I guess I don’t know, aside from certain aspects of certain people that I’d like to try to incorporate into what makes me who I am. I’d like to have some of the discipline of Tink, who would wake up way too early to read the bible and schedule in a work out every day. I’d like to have some more patience and compassion, like my wonderful BFF. And I’d like to surprise people with what I’ve done while they weren’t paying attention, much like Beyonce.
A good deed I’m going to do: I’m hoping to put away/send in a check to a favorite non-profit of mine. First I want to figure out where the money will come from… basically I want to actually plan this one out.
A place I’d like to visit: Apparently I’m going to be going to a wedding in Florida (yay Holly!), but other than that I would love to visit Boston, and perhaps Burlington, VT.
A book I’d like to read: I want to read way too many to list here.
A letter I’m going to write: I want to write a letter to my sister. She hates me. I’m more than she can handle, so maybe she can handle just a letter.
A new food I’d like to try: I think I’m going to be exploring the world of seafood, and also the use of crock-pots. Other than that I have a zillion things pinned to my food board on Pinterest so…
I’m going to do better at: Finding where my priorities lie, which is essential for scheduling my time wisely. I also hope to become better at sticking to schedules, because if I set them for myself I tend to shrug them off. I’d like to become more accustomed to the boundaries that scheduling my time will provide, because I do believe it will make me more productive. And ultimately that is what I want to be better at, being more productive.
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Dirty Dozen: Thanksgiving

27 Wednesday Nov 2013

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  1. Knowing God’s comfort has been so essential to me this year. Last year at this time I was driving to the airport in Boston with my brother to pick up Derek. Last year right after Thanksgiving Derek came over and made us Jack Daniels Cheese Burgers. They were delicious. That was the last time I saw him before he died. The only thing that has kept me in some semblance of sanity is knowing who God is and that he is near to the brokenhearted.
  2. God has provided for me and my family time and again this year. When I needed a job, He dropped one in my lap. When I needed another job He guided me to it. He has been able to keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.
  3. My parents just had their 3rd anniversary. Technically they were married for 20 years and then divorced, and then remarried each other. They don’t make marriage look easy, but they do prove that they have the will to fight for their relationship.
  4. We found a church to be a part of that is local and incredibly sweet. God managed to help us find a part of his body to be a part of when we really needed it, and I am personally so thankful for that.
  5. My distance from my BFF has become much smaller, which is one of the very best parts of living in Maine. Maybe the only part I like most days. It’s much easier to make plans to see her when I don’t have to travel 4 hours to do so.
  6. Brady was brought into the world this year. As my BFF’s firstborn I know that I will forever love the little man. I don’t get to see him nearly enough but I’m even thankful for hearing him cry over the phone.
  7. God has been really faithful to slam doors in my face this year. This is something I have learned after the fact, and something I have been very humbled by. When the things I wanted were in reach and God decided they weren’t what I needed he took them away, even with me kicking and screaming to have them back. And now I can see these restrictions as blessings.
  8. Being able to hang out with my brother is my choice favorite. He and I are both getting busier with work, but I wouldn’t be able to handle life without him this year. I already love him, but the more I get to know him and his character the more pride I take in what kind of person I’m related to.
  9. Books have been a very good thing recently, even if it’s just rereading old favorites.
  10. Being single is not always something I feel blessed about but the more I learn about myself and where God needs to work on my heart the more I am thankful that no one else has to deal with me right now.
  11. I still get to cut hair on the side and that is such a blessing. It’s still what I love to do, but I’m sort of glad I don’t have to work in a salon. I never seem to fit in to them.
  12. Of course, Maxwell.

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The Belief System of 25-year-old Me (Part 5)

21 Saturday Jul 2012

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  1. When our perspective is skewed we become more and more self-centered.  Whenever I let myself be a priority I end up unhappy.  I can never feel loved enough, never see my direction, never feel desired, supported, filled in the ways that I need to badly when all I can think of is how badly I need these things to fill up the big hole in my chest that is in all actuality filled with the H. Sizzle.  God made us for specific reasons and gave us a deposit as a guarantee of what is to come (2 Corinthians 5:5).  When I think of life in this way, removing my veil of selfishness, I see not only the things that I should be actively living out but also the blessings that are being poured into my life.
  2. Having a childlike spirit can be a blessing and a curse.  You can develop maturity while having one, because it’s not about immaturity, it’s about dependence on God.  But sometimes it’s a really good excuse to act like a child to the Father, ornery and rebellious and throwing temper tantrums over how that’s not FAIR!  It also has a really interesting effect on memory, in that you can absolutely forget what you learned about Christ and his character after about a month and relearn it to your own embarrassment and his glory. 
  3. There is no fear in love.  Even if its awkward at first, even if I don’t know what to say, I’d rather fail at love than let pride get in the way.
  4. Poetry is the verbal illustration of a postcard that you have captured or created in your mind and want to reveal to others.
  5. Being 25 years old doesn’t feel different.  Hindsight, though, does reveal the changes and seasons that have passed and stayed, the differences in my character that I am unable to witness.  And the best part is that God has done incredible things, and worst part is that in order to do so I am going to have to break apart over and over.  Then the other best part is that it’s worth every crack and splinter.  He doesn’t withhold his love, not even when I don’t deserve it.  That’s my Jesus, always the best thing ever.