Being a single woman on Valentine’s day has, in years past, given me yet another day of the week to be bitter and resentful. Watching all the romantic comedies, the special Valentine’s day episodes of my favorite shows, and just seeing Facebook posts of other people being happily in love has made me want to throw my electronic device into the ocean. It would be so satisfying!
But my attitude problem when it comes to all things in the romance section of the card aisle of every drugstore is not something that brings me joy. It’s not something I’m ashamed of because I lost my shame towards just about everything a long time ago, but it’s not something that edified me in the slightest. It gives me the opportunity to look at my past and be resentful of my own decisions. It gives me a chance to sing along to The Chain by Fleetwood Mac with complete conviction. It always gives me a chance to drink alcohol to my face. But none of that can be described as productive, joyful, or peaceful.Speaking of romantic comedies and the like, they really give us quite a warped view of what relationships will be like. So many of the movies out there feed us lines about what love should be like, and how the person you are going to be with should be, but it’s generally a lot of propaganda so that we keep falling for the same clichéd story lines. Not going to the new Rom-Com because it’s emotional porn for women? That’d be stupid when you can take a quote from it and put it in your Facebook profile so that your twisted-by-the-media view of love is up there for everyone to see!
Even the movie Juno (which I do take a cue from when it comes to a lesson in love: be BFFs) has become overhyped for a quote about love that just doesn’t work in reality.I’d also like to point out that there are plenty of classic authors that I’d like to punch in the face for making us believe that british men can woo like no others. There are more than a few girls out there waiting for their Mr. Darcy, believing that people like him exist in reality.Getting hit on generally leads to dashed hopes and broken dreams of romantic eloquence.For single girls with expectations (I’d say high expectations, but honestly I think “8th grade reading level” and “has all teeth” aren’t high expectations. They are normal expectations.) there is a fine line to walk when it comes to accepting the status of being single. At this moment in time, I’m actually quite content with where I’m at. I am not lonely because I live with my family, and I’m disillusioned to the pandering of romantic drama on the screens. But sometimes being single can look more like a surrender to spinster-hood, and you wake up one day discovering that you’ve crocheted Christmas presents for everyone you know 8 months early while watching Netflix and petting your cats. Worse, there are times where you feel so desperate for what (it seems) everyone else has that you end up lowering your own standards and just making due with someone who is interested in you.
After making those choices I always remember why I am not supposed to be let out of the house without an adult. And I always remember how important it was to have those standards in the first place.Conversations where you look for sympathy can become the most rage inducing experiences that have ever happened, and this is coming from a girl who has regularly documented rage blackouts. The most obnoxious of these for me are with family members. Inevitably the question pops up somehow, in my extended family it’s usually phrased very nonchalantly.
“So, anyone special in the picture?”
Well…Which leads to their expounding upon the benefits of using a dating service on the world-wide web.
Honestly, I do know some people who have met on different dating sites but that doesn’t make me want to join one. I have seen way too many shady things happen in the past because of them, and I don’t want to lie on the profile to make myself more attractive. Hobbies?And every guy loves the outdoors, and sports, and fresh air for some reason. Meanwhile I just want to be left alone to read a book in the climate controlled room of my choosing.I have way too many quirks and opinions and bad habits to be someone’s cup of tea, especially if it’s based on an online profile. And I’m just fine with that. I’m even fine with being given crap because I’m not comfortable with having a profile on an online dating service, even if that makes ME the weird one. I’m used to it. And as I’ve already mentioned, right now I’m enjoying being exactly where I am and seeing what becomes of me.