Today I finally went to bed around 2.30 I think, then woke up at 7.30.  Was in the car and on the way at 8.15, got to the doc’s in time for my 9 appointment, was there until 11.30 because they are all mean people that want me to hate them and then on the way home mom decided we had to stop and buy a treadmill and she let me buy the anorexic’s manuel, teen vouge.  So it started out bad and ended good.

INTAKE SO FAR

b – a small vanilla chai

l – nothing so far

d – tba

I’m not sure if I’m going to work out tonight although I should because although I had a nice dumb salad at dinner I also had a piece of chocolate cake that was pure and utter deliciousness which means it’s making me fat.  So I gotta do something.  I think I will at least do the crunches even though my stomach hurts.   Oh yeah and I had some nachos and soda.  Wow I gotta get some control!  Jeez.

I gotta get inspired. 

EDIT – Ok, did the Carmen’s Strip Tease Aerobics for about 40 minutes.  May not be the most amazing workout but I figure something that makes me move and stretch things is always good.  I feel much better about today.

Went to bed at 3 ish last night because I watched Serenity and ate chocolate into the new year.  I suck at this really bad sometimes. 

I slept until 1 though, then took a shower and made myself pretty and didn’t eat and then ate around 5 because my Dad took me out to eat and a movie.  The Family Stone is very good and everyone should see it. 

I just went to walmart and I officially want more work out dvds so that is on my list of things to get as well.  I’m bored with my old ones.

My mom and I got in a fight because I was being in a bad mood during dinner last night.  I want to tell her to shove it.  Can I?  No.  I have to try to be perfect for the rest of the week so she doesn’t tweek out.  Well, here’s to the new year.  You want perfect?  I’ll give you perfect by June.  Bikini Season.  I’m gonna wear one this year bitches.  Yes I will.

EDIT – I just did a good amount of yoga so I feel better about today.  Yay Yoga!  And some crunches.  Yay Crunches!

I slept for like 11 hours last night.  yay me. Other than that there is going to be eating today but I will try to keep it to a minimum. 

I went out with Chris yesterday and she is so encouraging.  I am excited to go back to school to get the diet pills, either zantrax or hydroxycut. 

I figure might as well do dumb things to my body while it can handle it and then when I’m older I can look back and say I was so skinny at least I was for a while, no regrets.  And by then I will have a nice boy who has turned into a man and I will be so happy with my life. 

I figured out something about myself.  I eat when I watch TV.  So good thing I haven’t been watching alot of tv.  Today I ate

a portion of chicken alfredo and a piece of chicken

chips and salsa

two bowls of ice cream

I have to eat tomorrow night, but I am going to see how far into the new year I can go without food.  Like a self challenge.  Eating is no way to become America’s Next Top Model.  Love that show!!!

Thanks for all the comments by the way everyone.  It really helps.