I have nothing better to do than to re-update because I don’t feel like everyone reading what I just wrote.  I mean, you can, but I don’t suggest it.  It’s all emotional and crap.  Stupid period.

So intake today has been water and greenteapills and zantrax and g-power and fiber.  It will also be a pudding snack pack, which is 100 calories, and I am thinking of evening it out with an apple first.  I went for a small walk today, but I didn’t really work out because instead I stressed and did homework and didn’t eat. 

I have alot of respect for the people that can actually plan their week and when they will and won’t eat.  I just decide the night before most of time.

I’m really having a bad day.  Fell asleep around 2 and woke up at quarter of 8 and dyed my hair blonde and did work and went to class at 12 and did work and then

One of my best male friends decides to tell me that he has a ‘massive crush’ on me.  Oh no.  This kid is one of my best friends, he is funny, not bad looking, smart, over analytical, has been involved in ‘the buisness of protection and provention'(organized crime), and is a Jahovah’s Witness.  I would never date him.  Not only do I not date Jahovah’s Witnesses, but I would never feel safe with him.  And I feel so bad because he is one of my best friends and he doesn’t like girls just generally like having crushes on whoever, and he thinks alot of me and all I can think is ‘no, don’t I’m not worth it I’m way too much for you’ because he thinks he knows me really well but he doesn’t even know about THIS, the ED stuff and I can’t tell him but you know I would be afraid of crushing him with my body all the time and it’s horrible. 

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NOT weighing myself until I feel better about what is (not) in my body.  I am fasting today, going to see how long I can do it.  I didn’t get very much sleep at all last night.  Did wake up at 7.40 and bleach my hair.  Want to see pictures?

INTAKE – 1 zantrax 3, 2 green tea, 1 power-g

EDIT – This is what you call the progression.

From almost my natural color to a brown ish red with bangs

Then I got bored one day and decided to go to blonde, later to blonder

From blonder to blondest with grown outish bangs

And those are my bracelets.  I like them very much.

Still haven’t eaten today.  I feel good though.  And I have to go do finals.  Ick.

Thank you for all of the support ladies!  It really really helps like you all know if you get comments at all, even 1 makes me happy.  But 1 from each of you makes me extatic so keep that in mind.

129.8

Yeah, I’m pretty happy.  More of an update later, I’m eating cookies today in a class so I’m taking the zantrax 3.  Poetry here I come.

EDIT – Ate some cookies.  They were good.  I actually really like the ones with less fat, they have like apple sauce in them, so when Jess said she wasn’t taking any cookies home I took them because no one else wanted them.  I think I will go for a walk because it is so nice outside today and I have to work off the zantrax.  But first I need to do some laundry.

EDIT AGAIN! – President Scott bought me a sub.  It’s turkey on wheat, and I don’t know the calories and I’m not going to look them up because that would depress me.

So far today…

Cocktail – Apple Cider Vinager Diet Pill, 3 Fiber, 1 Power G, 2 Green Tea, All my Juice Plus

B – 3/4 cup of hunny nut cheerios, 110 cals

L – 1 apple

Another Cocktail

D – 1 granola bar – 180 cals

&a snack pack pudding cup – 140

So that makes today’s total (I’m not counting the apple cus I still say it’s a negative) 430 calories.  Not bad.  I’m usually so bad at just eating a little bit.  Today was good.

So far so good.  Probubly no exercise today because I am 1. Tired 2.Swamped.  Ah well.  Just will try to fidget alot.