Dirty Sean

I slept for like 11 hours last night.  yay me. Other than that there is going to be eating today but I will try to keep it to a minimum. 

I went out with Chris yesterday and she is so encouraging.  I am excited to go back to school to get the diet pills, either zantrax or hydroxycut. 

I figure might as well do dumb things to my body while it can handle it and then when I’m older I can look back and say I was so skinny at least I was for a while, no regrets.  And by then I will have a nice boy who has turned into a man and I will be so happy with my life. 

I figured out something about myself.  I eat when I watch TV.  So good thing I haven’t been watching alot of tv.  Today I ate

a portion of chicken alfredo and a piece of chicken

chips and salsa

two bowls of ice cream

I have to eat tomorrow night, but I am going to see how far into the new year I can go without food.  Like a self challenge.  Eating is no way to become America’s Next Top Model.  Love that show!!!

Thanks for all the comments by the way everyone.  It really helps. 

I just keep eating chocolate.  That is all I’ve eaten today.  It’s like if I’m going to eat something I might as well eat something I want to eat, but then if I eat anything but chocolate I feel like a pig but also I want chocolate after so these days it’s easier to just eat chocolate if I feel hungry.  I end up eating with my mom though, meals that make me feel like a pig.  I hate being home.  I want to go away.

I am so tired, I want to sleep but if I do then I won’t be able to sleep tonight.  And I don’t take naps well.

America’s Next Top Model marathon on VH1 tomorrow.  That is my favorite show to ever watch all day.  I’m excited. 

Today all I ate was sugar. 

B – Reese’s Puffs

S – Sugar cookies and Chocolate

I was babysitting so I actually skipped lunch and the snack was sort of the food for that.  But I really wish I hadn’t eaten so much sugar it makes me feel gross.  Also I haven’t really gotten to work out because I am at home, but I have a plan and it will commence in 1.5 weeks. 

PLAN

Buy – More G-power, Green Tea, and some other diet pill (hydroxycut possibly, expencive but I actually have the money), Low Cal snacks, Water

Days – Wake up at 8 take shower make self look spiffy, take G-power, Green tea, and diet pill, take breakfast with to class at 9

11.30 out of class, take pills, have lunch with Holly, do homework till 12.45

1. Class, out by 3.30?  Go to gym with Holly and have dinner (maybe not in that order)

Do homework at night, and chill with Holly and Dan

Favorite new thinspiration – Lindsay Lohan.  Got her new cd and have been looking up pictures of her.  She is so damn beautiful and I want to look like her.  Even if I have to starve.  Heck, I bet she did.

EDIT – I just picked up the new issue of Allure, and it has stuff about the dangers of diet pills in it so what do I think about it?  I want them.  Can’t wait to go back to college and get back to work on my body.