I don’t have the internet in my new place. It’s a pain in the neck, but it’s also good to have to find other things to do. Now, on to my story of the day.
Today I made a special trip to see Tink, as I have the day off and she’s leaving for a week to go to Nicaragua on a missions trip and I wanted to make sure to get some quality Tink-Dirty time before she headed out. She and I ended up taking a walk and talking for a bit about insecurity and how it can lead us to believing that our identity and worth can be found in other people. We shared parts of our past we’ve felt effected us in negative ways and discussed how easy it is to feel that past sins can define us more than our current relationships with Christ. At one point she asked me about a term I was throwing around, because it’s one of the many terms that “born and bred” christians hear over and over without entirely knowing the meaning. This gave me the opportunity to share what it means to me and try to explain it to her, so I’ll share my thoughts on it here as well.
My thoughts on “Finding Our Identity In Christ”
I have found that I search for ways to define myself in everything. I like to put people and me in categories, always trying to figure out what type of person I am. I also find it easier to put my worth in the words of people than in the word of God, since I like instant gratification and people. It’s a nasty habit, as it leads to constantly trying to be what others will find acceptable or extraordinary. I’ve done many things and most likely will do many things because of the reactions I knew would be gleaned, and they make me feel good, worthy, accepted.
But when there is no one to give accolades, no person to tell me what I did is cool or what I said was funny or what I’m wearing is adorable, I’m left with the question of my worth being answered with the devil’s hissing lies. I hear in the silence of an unanswered text that I’m not worth typing to. I hear in the absence of an invitation out that people don’t want my company, and I fill in the blanks as to why.
These answers are not the truth. My identity, my worth, is not something I can find through the eyes and words of other people. What is true, always, is the word of God. He found me worthy before I was thought of to kill his son in order to give me life. He knew me in the womb and of what I would become, and still wanted me to be a part of his enormous family.
Surely I was sinful at birth,sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;you taught me wisdom in that secret place. – Psalm 51:5&6
He finds my life to be worthy of a perfectly planned out adventure, and someday a partner to journey with.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
He finds me beautiful, because he made me this way and sees a reflection of his glory in me.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. – John 1:1-5
He gave me gifts, and they are not confined to his Spirit. He saw me in my darkest hour and still wanted to bring me to the light, to renew my spirit and save my life. He listens to me whine and complain, gently rebuking me. He listens to my prayers and answers them in spectacular ways.
One of the definitions of identity is the distinguishing character or personality of an individual. The definition of character is the main or essential nature especially as strongly marked and serving to distinguish. So what I chose to look at as my identity, what truly distinguishes my character from every other person on the planet and makes me one in a billion, is how God sees me. He sees me as his child, a wonderful display of his glory and a testimony to his awesome ability to work in the lives of his own.
And that’s all I really have to say on the subject for now. Hopefully soon I can post up some pictures of my new room, and tell some stories about living with the coolest nun in the world.