Everything that could be bad seems to happen to the people around me. It feels like all the tragedies in my life are felt through a disconnection; I’m a degree removed from it every time. This could be considered a good thing, but of course I’m struggling with it as a signifier that I’m not close enough to anyone to be able to experience the tragedy of first hand loss. Something is very much amiss in this heart of mine. But I figure, since I’m so sad these days I may as well make a list of things I’m grateful for.
- A job. The job is all kinds of things that I could write about that are negative, but it’s also a source of money and really fracking easy.
- Health Insurance. I’m not sure when I get taken off my dad’s insurance, but that is a day that will produce extreme anxiety in me, as I don’t understand how I’m supposed to be an adult when I’m so obviously not.
- Lana Del Rey’s Born To Die: The Paradise Edition. It’s absolutely been on repeat this week.
- Having my family around. Dad has finally come home from an extended time working in NY, and working/living with my brother is pretty much the best. Then there are the nights watching tv with Mom and the dogs. Basically I watch TV and she falls asleep.
- The very few friends I have are pretty boss.
- First wedding I had to go to this year wasn’t absolute torture. Score!
- I have tried to follow my passions and dreams and have succeeded in completing goals, even though now I am not anywhere near where I thought I would be.
- Fresh ink.
- Getting to be with my little sister while she got her first tattoo.
- Snuggs are nice. In fact, Oxytocin is another feel good hormone often called the “cuddle hormone”. Oxytocin is released when we feel love, trust and comfort. It can be even more powerful than serotonin. With this in mind, I will attempt to Snuggs whenever I can.
- Maxwell is The Cutest.
- God is biggest, with plans so incredible that we can still thank Him for life through the death of children.