Hello ladies and jellyspoons, my name is Dirty Sean (sometimes) and I will captain this possible titanic of a blog.  This little blog is what I hope to use as my anonymous but completely honest testimony of my life.  I do not always feel that I have much to share, but I am using this as an exercise not only in creativity but also in positivity!  I often sulk about and think gray thoughts about my gray life when the only think keeping me in gray is me.  I choose a new color, and automatically I think pink is good but I’m a bigger fan of anything on the blue spectrum.  This will hopefully be my way to take stock of lessons I’ve learned and relationships I’ve had, as well as a place to post things like “Dirty’s Research Papers” which will be my half-assed attempt at journalism for myself.  At least it will keep me on my toes and give me a project! 

One of the reasons I am starting this project is the fact that I seem to have people in my life that want secrets to be kept and I want to honor that, but sometimes things need to be said and I feel that I need a place for my honest opinion without putting these people up for speculation.  Understandable, I think.  And I also usually end up feeling strongly about things and not being able to speak my mind on them, partly because of dramatic character actors that use life as a stage, and partly because of selfish character actors that use life as a stage. 

On another note, I enjoy doing percentages.  Only sometimes, and only in a specific category.  The category I enjoy is “How Much Of My Life Is Spent Doing X When I Am Y Age”.  It’s quite interesting to think that when you were 4 years old you spent a 4th of your life in the summer, and when you are 12 years old you have spent a 4th of your life in the summer, but it’s technically a larger number because more time has passed.  Then you start to think about how everything was bigger and longer when you were young, like how an entire day felt like a week because you had only been alive for 4 years so to you it was the longest thing and yet growing shorter by the day.  The only problem is that I am horrific at math and can never remember how to find percentages.  But I remember now!  Divide the top fraction by the bottom fraction, etc.

Here’s what I’m thinking on today:  I hate getting my period.  I think it’s messy and stupid and it gives me cramps and makes me moody like a girl.  So how much of my life is spent dealing with the horrors of shedding my epididymis?  Well, there are 1104 weeks in my 23-year-old life.  For 10 of these years I’ve been getting my period.  That means that there have been 120 weeks in which I deal with PMS and general touchiness.  So 120 weeks out of 1104 I am a bitchy monster that should live in a trash can.  120/1104=0.10869.  So basically I have spent 10.1% (rounding up) of my life acting like a crazy person.  I think.  To double-check I’m doing months as well, so 30/276=0.10869.  Looks like I’m keeping the calculator in tact tonight folks, no throwing it against the wall or spelling out boobies for my own amusement.