1.  Using china tea cups for tea that you bought after someone else used them and you thought it was cool (IE that girl that you want to be because she’s effortless, Lady Gaga).  Don’t get me wrong, I used tea cups for a while, but it was not because they were cool, it’s because I had a shit load of them given to me for college ware and decided they would come in handy as bowls for small amounts of food, shots, and ashtrays.

2.  Calling yourself a bitch and then acting like one to prove that you really are truly a bitch.  We get it.  We don’t want to actually be your friends.  The problem here is that people often over-accentuate negative things about themselves, I do it with my nosey-ness, but only when it comes into play.  For instance, when I ask a lot of questions I mention that I’m really nosey and you can tell me it’s non of my B I Business.  If you open a conversation saying “I’m a bitch.” Where does it go from there?

3.  You have 29 profile pictures.  In 10 of them you are artfully and purposefully smoking a cigarette.  I’ve had profile pictures where I’m smoking cigarettes before, but I realized that what people actually WANTED to see was my face, not my cool-urban smoking style.  Because it’s not cool or urban.  It’s pretty unattractive to a lot of people.  Poor me and my nicotine.

4.  That indie film that no one but you and your best friend has seen?  The one that you quote all the time and laugh about because you watched it high off your ass and missed half of it because you had to go in the kitchen to get munchies?  I saw it.  It sucked.

5.  You drank an entire handle of liquor and didn’t get drunk?  That’s amazing, you didn’t even… oh, you did puke.  Then I think maybe you’re delusional.  And for the record, I’m not impressed.  It’s way more fun to drink three shots and be hammered than waste an entire handle by vomiting it right back up.