This week (or weekend at least) has made a name for itself in my book of good things, and therefore I will hopefully have plenty to write about here that isn’t as superficial as my Rebecca Minkoff bag. (Although I’m still in love with it.)
- I got to spend time with a woman this weekend who has already begun effecting my heart in ways it hasn’t felt for a while. She’s got an incredible love for God and a superb spirit. She’s sweet and kind and real, and although she’s got ten years on me it doesn’t translate into our friendship. She feels like an extended-family member, but that might be because I don’t have close relationships with my actual extended-family members.
- On friday I got to trek back to Mass because of a nice weekend off and enjoy a game night at The friend’s apartment (see #1). Mom and I brought tequila, and no one actually got to sit down to a real game, but it was more fun than I’ve had in quite a while. People filtered in and out, and by the end of the night I had nicknamed a new friend Kitten and we were all enjoying my self-timer on my little green camera.
- The friend, after discovering that I take great pictures of myself, asked me to take some pictures of her. So on saturday I got to sit her down and do her hair and make-up and make her feel like at least 50,000 dollars and take some pictures of her. Our friend (who is henceforth the Lumber-jack) came along, and the pictures turned out really well. I love giving people the chance to feel beautiful, especially when I know they are and they don’t believe me. Anyway, I ended up snapping this amazing picture.
- One of the reasons that I was getting to know The friend is because she’s amazing and we get along, and another is because my mother set her up with my cousin. I do not know him very well because he’s 10 years older than I and didn’t live near by. So after church my aunt, mother, father, cousin, The friend and I went to lunch. Then the adults decided us kids could hang out, because when you gave birth to someone you will always be in charge of what they do with their time, so we went back to The friend’s and watched the game/I did her dishes. During the game I asked Cousin all about his life because I knew nothing of it, and he and The friend had some solid discussions and connections and it was really adorable… except for my being the third wheel and bored out of my mind. So by the grace of God and His holy trinity I was saved from putting myself awkwardly into conversations about things I didn’t know about by the Lumber-Jack, who came over to rescue my sanity. We all went to grab some grub, and the Lumber-Jack and I agreed that Cousin and The friend are super cute, did a cross-word puzzle, and basically I was incredibly happy to spend time with all of them. I don’t live near enough to see any of them on a regular basis, so I try to have quality time with people I feel are positive influences on me as much as possible while in the area. Not to mention watching something possibly begin for two people I really like was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something like that.
- If I know anything about anything, it’s got to be a little bit about myself. I know where my mind wanders to when I’m not paying attention, and for quite some time I’ve allowed it because I haven’t cared about how what I’m thinking affects the condition of my heart. This weekend I began practicing trying to retrain my thoughts. The biggest problem, I find, is with that female condition; boys. So, this weekend I began practicing something that I feel is important: refraining from allowing my heart to lust after what I apparently can’t have right now, and trying to put that energy into focusing on God, or even just some sort of project. The reasons are as follows:
I have been telling everyone who asks for a while that I really do fall in love with someone almost every day. I get the warm fuzzies and wallow in the sorrow of being rejected over absolutely nothing! Someone could look at me, just LOOK, and I begin in my mind the torrid affair of our hearts. It’s actually really cool in the mind’s eye, because not only do I look like a movie star all the time (Blake Lively) but no matter what He’s got a six-pack and can’t live without me. In all reality I know for a fact that these things are to be confined to my mind because I have problems trusting males with things such as my heart. I’ve also realized that for all the times that I’ve become friends with a male based on false pretense so that I could end up making out with them and pretending to be friends later, I’ve never come out of that situation feeling really happy. I’d describe those feelings that are produced as more fleeting, high, and empty. Not to say I regret things I’ve done, because I don’t! I may not broadcast everything I do, but it’s not out of shame. It’s because (as my Best Friend says) there is a time and a place. And so, I would like to start living and having relationships that don’t make me feel empty. If that means only being friends with males, that’s ok. I know this won’t be the easiest thing to do but I do feel it’s necessary for not only my mental health, but for my heart health.
- Another personal re-mix I’m working on is my daily schedule and things I actually do with said time. I don’t do much. I don’t even write as much as I would like to, as you might notice with this barely updated blog. So I am going to try this week to wake up at a reasonable hour when not working, start reading the Bible in the morning on a regular basis, and my project this week is to clean my room and finish unpacking.
- I just got my new book! It’s from The Olympians series! I’m going to open it and take a look… GAAAAH IT LOOKS SO GOOD!!!!! I’M SO EXCITED!!!!!
- I’ve been cleaning my room and it’s looking more and more like MY room instead of the room in my parent’s house where they placed me, so that is something to mention! I’ve also got some ideas on how to decorate it in a way that makes it feel like a real bedroom, and this is exciting because I am not great at making my rooms really … my rooms. They are usually sort of bare or really cluttered. SO! I’ll be keeping this updated with progress, because I’m excited.
- I just downloaded 3 Bethany Dillon CDs on iTunes because I love her and I would like to have some more christian music around since I can’t find my CDs and I’m extremely satisfied.
- It’s autumn and I love it! The colors during this season make me feel so at home… almost as at home as I was in Utah! And that’s saying something!
- Psalm 16:7 – “I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.”
- Jeremiah 31:18-20 – “I have surely heard Ephraim’s moaning: ‘You disciplined me like an unruly calf, and I have been disciplined.
Restore me, and I will return, because you are the LORD my God.
After I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my breast.
I was ashamed and humiliated because I bore the disgrace of my youth.’
Is not Ephraim my dear son, the child in whom I delight? Though I often speak against him, I still remember him.
Therefore my heart yearns for him; I have great compassion for him,” declares the LORD.