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It’s taken me a while to figure out what I do and don’t want from you, but I think I’ve got it now. 
I want more from leaving my heart out in the open than the gut feeling that you’ll never return the favor.
I don’t want to lose some semblance of the friendship we had once, even if that takes time and a half.
I want someone who makes me a priority instead of an option.
I don’t want to come in last on a list of deciding factors about life choices.
I want to feel the desire to be impressed by someones work more than critical because I am trying to tell you something but can’t find the words or make you listen.
I don’t want to wait for someone who is half convinced that he’s in love to figure out what he wants.
I want to stop having you mentally block me at all the inopportune times, it makes conversations about relationships hard, and painful.
I don’t want to feel so stuck and unable to explain things when I don’t think before I talk when someone mentions germany and I respond with how I HATE GERMANY.
I want to feel like I have someone who would be there if I need them.
I don’t want someone who is such a fucking pussy about believing in something and just running with it because it feels better.
I want you to read this without me having to send it, because I don’t feel like we have a direct line to each other anymore and it would mean that you were paying attention enough to know where to look.
I don’t want to think about you anymore, but I’m not sure if you can help that.

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