- Something has been happening on a regular basis that’s starting to make me angry. I am very much me, and not so much the sick girl with big tits and short hair that everyone is apparently confusing me for. I love the girl BUT! I’m not her and I never will be; she’s been through different things in life, has a different attitude and I was born with birthing hips and a lack of certain glands and fat cells. Get with the fucking program.
- Yesterday I did a fast. There is a reason this is something noteworthy, and it’s not just my general lack of self discipline, but first I’ll explain: I had something weighing heavily on my heart and I decided that I would take a day and put the energy I would usually put into finding food into prayer and God-time. Of course, I can’t go an entire day without food so I made it a “clean food” fast. I made it up, obviously, and I decided that certain foods were ok (raw fruits and veggies, yogurt, granola, steamed veggies, humus) but if something was overly processed I was going to pass on it and pray for the ability to do so. I did pretty well, and I felt really good at the end of the day aside from random things that I wasn’t so happy about. This morning, of course, I felt like shit. And I have proceeded to feel awful all day. Which leads me to a concern: if doing a “clean food” fast makes me feel better, and trying to be in constant prayer and God-time makes me feel better, maybe I should try to do it all the time. But wait! I have a certain history of turning food into an idol! AND I don’t think I have the strength to live like that all the time! I get too grumpy to be in the presence of God all the time! Especially when I’m not eating correctly! Wtf mate.
- I am so sick of people dying and I’m sick of people questioning the reasons behind life and death. The reason behind life is to glorify the name of God. The reason behind death is to glorify the name of God. We will never know more than that, and it’s really all in his hands. It’s really annoying to try to comfort someone when the only things you know to say are related to scripture and that they aren’t going to care. It’s also really annoying to try to be there for someone when you try to encourage their walk with Christ and they are completely closed off about it, as if they are really just all set and perfectly following the path thankyouverymuch, no need for concern. If I see evidence of sin in your life guess what? I don’t believe you! If you can’t talk to me, find someone else to talk to, because fellowship is a God thing the same way prayer and scripture and worship are God things. It’s available for a reason.
- I think that over using the word “interesting” when you don’t want to sound radical is stupid. Get a thesaurus! It’s fascinating, it’s riveting, it’s unnerving, it feels like a spiritual army has been summoned to this place where we share a vision and we’re consumed with a desire to fight this battle against evil and we’re so thrilled and freaked and almost scared because we know something incredible is about to happen, but it’s not interesting anymore, at least not to those who are listening to you constantly say it’s interesting.
- I’m just so convinced that most of the men I know have either very stereotypical taste in women or horrible, awful taste in women! I can’t believe some of the connections I’ve heard of and some of the crushes I know of! Yeah, guys-I-know, please keep all going after the same girl! It’s so incredibly fun to watch you all throw yourselves at someone who doesn’t even REALIZE that you like them!
- Sometimes I get all sentimental and look at pictures of people I’m not friends with on Facebook and find myself wondering why it is I didn’t friend them, or unfriended them. Then I remember: because we aren’t and never were friends! Speaking of, it’s about time to un-friend the people I’m not really friends with… it was easier when there was a little X to click instead of having to go to their page…
- Do you want to be a suck-tastic-selfish-asshole that loses friends faster than I can say whore? Keep making everything about YOU! Fer realz, just make sure that every compliment you give someone ends up pointing the spotlight right back at you (“You actually have a pretty good singing voice, I mean, I was listening to you sing along to something and you hit a high part really clearly and I was really surprised! I just couldn’t… It was so weird for me, like, I really didn’t expect it…”), that when you miss someone you make it their fault because you tried once to call them but you couldn’t get through (mainly because you’re making it up to make them feel guilty), and never EVER listen to advice! Especially if you ask for it! This is a big one! You have to remember: you’re way too smart to listen to anyone!