Some days are better than others. Some days bring sunshine and roses and others make you want to cut people and become a hermit. Some days I want to shove people into traffic and put locks on the doors in my room so no one will ever bother me again. On these days I find myself thinking “I want to believe God is good. I really think he is. Maybe I’ll see it if I just keep saying it…”
God has so much more patience for me than I deserve. On my bad days I am like Israel, walking in the direction that God has pointed me and complaining the entire time. I underestimate the amount of grace that has been given because I figure that since God has given it to me he won’t really pay attention to the times when I doubt, when I covet, when I decide to stay unsatisfied.
“But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.” – 1 Timothy 6:6-8
How easy it is to see the things that I want so badly as a need. I don’t need to see some wonderful miracle to have proof that God is good. In fact, I don’t even need to have proof. The only proof I need is what he has already given me, life.
So I want to stop thinking of God being good as something that I hope to see. I don’t need to have good things happen in order to know that God is good. I don’t need a mantra to try to cling to sanity on bad days, I need to bow my heart when I say “God is good” and believe it.