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Dirty Sean

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The Red Tent

01 Friday Oct 2010

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports

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Dirty's Report

Oh my goodness.  I’m looking at various translations of the story of Dinah, from Genesis 34.  I love her.  Probably because I read a completely fictional book about her, and also because she did something that not many of her people did: she went out to hang with the people of the land, instead of just sitting around in her mother’s tent.
KJV: 1And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land.  2And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her.  3And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel.  4And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying, Get me this damsel to wife.
NLT:   1 One day Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah, went to visit some of the young women who lived in the area. 2 But when the local prince, Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, saw Dinah, he seized her and raped her. 3 But then he fell in love with her, and he tried to win her affection with tender words. 4 He said to his father, Hamor, “Get me this young girl. I want to marry her.”
YLT:   1And Dinah, daughter of Leah, whom she hath borne to Jacob, goeth out to look on the daughters of the land,  2and Shechem, son of Hamor the Hivite, a prince of the land, seeth her, and taketh her, and lieth with her, and humbleth her;  3and his soul cleaveth to Dinah, daughter of Jacob, and he loveth the young person, and speaketh unto the heart of the young person.  4And Shechem speaketh unto Hamor his father, saying, `Take for me this damsel for a wife.’

What happened to Dinah?  She went to hang out with some girls from town (they could have met on a walk, or at the well, maybe they wanted to make dinner or something) and this prince-dude saw her.  Then, he did the following: Took her, seized her, lay with her, raped her, defiled her, and humbled her.  Whaaaat?  All of those things?  Let’s think about this from the human perspective: How many men who pick random women to rape then fall in love with their victims and marry them?  I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen very often.  Personally, I think that what fits best in this story is that he took her, lay with her/defiled her, and possibly humbled her.  Because when sex happens without marriage (at least in that time period), its defiling.  And when that kind of vulnerability happens, it can humble the hardest of people.

I think that what really makes this an epic story is how her family reacts to the entire thing.  Look it up, it’s tragic.  They pretend to agree to the marriage, then go in and kill, like, everyone.  When I was young I liked the idea of having a family that came to my defense like that, but now that I look back on the story it seems judgmental and closed-minded of them.  Then again, these days I would rather live my own life than one so connected to my relatives.

Confidence, Cohen.

20 Monday Sep 2010

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty Little..., Human Interest

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I’ve been thinking recently about confidence.  The definition of the word as a noun is full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.  So in my words, being confident is about having the belief in yourself that you will succeed at what you are going to do, and that you can trust yourself to be the best you that there is.  This would apply in asking for a small loan, buying bread, spitting out your toothpaste.   have encountered a few people lately who have surprised me at their lack of self-confidence, and it’s not only making me sad but getting on my nerves!  It’s really annoying to have to constantly be telling people that they rock.  So I was thinking about what goes into self-confidence, and here is my personal formula:

  •  KNOW YOURSELF:  Self-confidence is not the same as being delusional.  I am confident in my ability to have little fear of strangers.  I am also confident in the fact that I cannot speak German.  I am confident that I will be able to say something to piss off others at any given point in time.  I am also confident that I can sometimes say the right thing.  In order to be able to trust and believe in yourself you must be able to see your entire being, flaws and gifts, and know what they are so that you can also…
  •  ACCEPT YOURSELF:  Acceptance of your shortcomings and your strengths are important because only through acceptance is there any chance of change.  This is something that so many people will not agree with or accept, because seeing the bad with the good makes us squirm.  But repressing things or ignoring things… it’s like putting leftovers in the fridge and not taking them out for months.  What you get when you do take them out is something with its own life source and mold and mutations, and it’s even more alarming and disgusting than you thought it could ever be.  When you accept the parts of you that you would consider bad you are accepting yourself as a human being.  This doesn’t give you the right to throw it in other’s faces, but the ability to maneuver with what you have in a way that plays up your good, even possibly giving you room to take those leftovers and mix them with something else to make something delicious.  
  •  ACT IT:  Even when you don’t think you can do something, or you don’t think you deserve something, even when you think others will think the worst, act like you know that you can do it, you know you deserve it, and no one else matters.  And hopefully you will start to think this way.  Because it’s true.

 

Dirty’s Report: Open Minds Are Not A Great Idea

10 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports

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Dirty's Report

I have decided on a metaphor for my view on having an open mind vs. being an idiot. 

I think of it like language, reading in particular.  Let us invent a man, his name will be Teddy.  Teddy is from New Jersey, and he knows the English language as butchered by America as his first language.  He learned how to read it before any other language.  This is what he knows as his base language. 

In school Teddy learned French, because I like French and I invented Teddy so he does too.  Teddy appreciates the language for its nuance, its beauty, and its difficulty.  Teddy understands that there are many languages out there, and while he can now read, write, and speak in two languages, he still claims English as his first language, his base language. 

Now, keeping that on a back burner (set to simmer, right above low) let us explore the idea of morals.  According to a dictionary the first definition of moral (adjective) as of, pertaining to, or concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct or the distinction between right and wrong; ethical.  Ethics, in turn, as a plural noun is defined as a system of moral principles.  These are words often associated with religion, which as a noun is defined as a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.  

What I can see here is a difference.  While religion includes morals, morals and ethics don’t include religion.  This is of interest to me because during a conversation recently a friend said the following:

L’Allemand brûlant: “But now I need to find a balance between self-fulfillment and something that betters the world… there could be a God, but never enough proof for or against so it takes “faith” which I had perhaps before, but not now.”

C’est moi: “Why not?”

L’Allemand brûlant: “Because of that fact: you can’t prove it, and can’t disprove it so it’s almost irrelevant.  If I choose to have faith, then I feel that I forsake all the universe has to offer.  I don’t want to miss the true meaning of the universe because of one decision.”

So this person has decided that he doesn’t want to miss out on all of the possibilities of the universe, and because of that he has chosen not to have faith in anything.  This is how I see it, perhaps you and Teddy wouldn’t, but I do.  So now I will take that back pot off the burner and show you how the ingredients represent my argument.

If we consider basic morals and ethics, maybe even religion, to be the language in Teddy’s story we can use this to further my case against Stupid.  Let us revise; saying that Teddy was raise Catholic and his entire belief system is based on what he learned from the Catholic teachings.  In school Teddy learns about Buddhism, and he is intrigued by some of the teachings and from the differences to his own belief system.  Now, if Teddy had a closed mind he would learn about Buddhism only for the scholastic benefit, meanwhile considering anyone who believed in “all that mumbo-jumbo hippie crap” (his words, not mine) is wrong, wrong, wrong!  This line of thinking is actually what I would consider wrong.  If Teddy has an open mind he would look into Buddhism with curiosity about the historical and cultural effects, perhaps not integrating it into his own belief system, but respecting it for being another line of thinking that others have lived by. 

Now let’s think about what would happen if Teddy decided that there were far too many belief systems and that the existence of so many negates any one being correct.  He falls away from his base religion, learns about a myriad of others, and is overwhelmed with the feeling that it is absurd to have faith in any without knowing which is correct.  Without having a base religion, he would decide that the moral codes he once had were just as invalid as every other one: if one religion believes in covering women completely and another believes in allowing them to wear whatever they like, neither can be right.  If in one religion a man is killed for something that he is not killed for in another, they are both wrong.

Speaking of absurdity, Albert Camus found himself on the outside of faith and religion as well.  He called himself an atheist, but came to the decision that the absence of religious belief can be accompanied by a longing for salvation and meaning.  At one point he said that “I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is.”  As it would seem, the disbelief and faithless logic that is seen throughout generations is accompanied by what may be described as a basic human impulse.  Like a young child believing that Daddy will be able to fix anything, there is still an instinct to believe that there is something bigger out there, and a desire to be under that protection. 

In the case of Teddy, I would see his inability to anchor his beliefs or morals in one area as one who would refuse to have one base language.  It would be as though he decided upon learning about all the other languages in the world that since he couldn’t imagine which one was universally correct he wouldn’t use one at all. 

George Bernard Shaw once said that “the open mind never acts: when we have done our utmost to arrive at a reasonable conclusion, we still – must close our minds for the moment with a snap, and act dogmatically on our conclusions” Therein is the logic that would spurn Teddy (since I created him) to chose one of the incredibly overwhelming options available that would be under the label of Moral Codes, Ethics, and Religions.  When refusing to anchor ourselves we float and when floating we do not have the ability to direct ourselves.  In order to live a life that is his own Teddy has decided that his language is English, and he will learn other languages if he so chooses.  He uses his language to excel at school and explain himself to others.  He goes to college at Brown, does a semester in France, and goes on to get his masters at Harvard.  He eventually becomes a leader in the Green movement, which has to do with warring against global warming, and his words inspire others to make great changes that help their cities, states, and world.  Teddy changed the world because he chose a language and decided that whether it was the right one or not, it was the right one for him.

 “He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.” – Louisa May Alcott

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Who, me?


I consider myself an eccentric who looks good in jeans, or an amateur at adulthood. I live in Maine, enjoy writing and photography as creative outlets, and listen to some of the worst music you've ever heard. I’m good at sin and bad at following Christ, but I’m still letting Him take the lead. Dirty is my middle name. So is Sean.
The purpose of this blog is to keep a record while I'm unearthing treasures, mapping truths, and navigating life.

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