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I’ve been thinking recently about confidence.  The definition of the word as a noun is full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.  So in my words, being confident is about having the belief in yourself that you will succeed at what you are going to do, and that you can trust yourself to be the best you that there is.  This would apply in asking for a small loan, buying bread, spitting out your toothpaste.   have encountered a few people lately who have surprised me at their lack of self-confidence, and it’s not only making me sad but getting on my nerves!  It’s really annoying to have to constantly be telling people that they rock.  So I was thinking about what goes into self-confidence, and here is my personal formula:

  •  KNOW YOURSELF:  Self-confidence is not the same as being delusional.  I am confident in my ability to have little fear of strangers.  I am also confident in the fact that I cannot speak German.  I am confident that I will be able to say something to piss off others at any given point in time.  I am also confident that I can sometimes say the right thing.  In order to be able to trust and believe in yourself you must be able to see your entire being, flaws and gifts, and know what they are so that you can also…
  •  ACCEPT YOURSELF:  Acceptance of your shortcomings and your strengths are important because only through acceptance is there any chance of change.  This is something that so many people will not agree with or accept, because seeing the bad with the good makes us squirm.  But repressing things or ignoring things… it’s like putting leftovers in the fridge and not taking them out for months.  What you get when you do take them out is something with its own life source and mold and mutations, and it’s even more alarming and disgusting than you thought it could ever be.  When you accept the parts of you that you would consider bad you are accepting yourself as a human being.  This doesn’t give you the right to throw it in other’s faces, but the ability to maneuver with what you have in a way that plays up your good, even possibly giving you room to take those leftovers and mix them with something else to make something delicious.  
  •  ACT IT:  Even when you don’t think you can do something, or you don’t think you deserve something, even when you think others will think the worst, act like you know that you can do it, you know you deserve it, and no one else matters.  And hopefully you will start to think this way.  Because it’s true.

 

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