I have never been a fan of dating around just to see what’s out there. That said, I seem to have a good idea of what’s out there due in part to having dated around. For instance, some guys are Perfect on Paper (POP): Pick a description of a perfect guy and this guy is that. It’s uncanny. But in my experience, POP doesn’t take you as far as you’d think.
My POP happened in college. He really could have been perfect, except for the part where he wasn’t perfect for me. But seriously, if he had applied for the job of my boyfriend I would have hired him after just reading his resume, no interview needed. He and I had so many things about our upbringing that were similar, he was tall and adorable, he could dress himself, he had a job and took care of himself financially for the most part, and his parents were British so he could do a great British accent. Oh, and did I mention my parents loved him? Yeah.
Even before I agreed to go out with him I could hear the “don’t!” and successfully ignored it. He and I had been friends for a long time, and even though I didn’t want to ruin that… Well, I did. We didn’t talk for a long time after we broke up.
We were supposed to be a great match. He was sweet, one of the only guys to ever take me out on dates, affectionate… but it didn’t work. Our personalities were not right for each other. I was too snarky, we had a different sense of humor entirely, and he kept trying to get me to quit smoking “for my health”. Also, he was a bad kisser. (Like, we were at the same party once after we had finally become friends after the break up and instead of letting him kiss me I went off and made out with some possibly Russian foreign exchange student. Evasion: successful!)
But it wasn’t his fault. I still think of him as a friend, he’s a great kid. And I’m glad that I dated him because God got to show me that what I had in mind for myself as perfect is no where near as good as what He’s designed as my perfect. And while that’s a difficult lesson to learn, it’s ultimately what keeps me from making even more Don’ts than I currently do.