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Dirty Sean

Author Archives: Meagan Sean

Greatest Adventures of Primetime Bible-Study-Hopping

27 Friday Jan 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports, Human Interest

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True Life

A while ago one of the guys at my bible study challenged the group to be able to not only memorize verses, but to be able to cite them.  This is indeed a challenge for me, as I can usually remember a story or a certain message and where ont he page it is located, but not always word for word or the reference.  I have been trying, though, and even though I’m not always successful this practice has brought me new understanding about my relationship with the Word. 
Keeping this challenge in mind I have started to notice if fellow Christians are memorizing word for word, if they are looking at verses in context, and if they are recalling the reference as well.  I’m still pretty awful at it on a regular basis, even this week I went to bring up a verse and completely forgot what book it was in.  I was surprised I remembered so much of it, I could see it in my mind at the bottom of the right page and continued on for a few sentences at the top of the next page… but the reference?  Gone.  (It was 1 Corinthians 1:18-25 and thankfully I didn’t misinterpret it.)
So keeping all this in mind, last week I found myself in an awkward situation.
I went to my friend’s bible study at a different church.  It was way different from 20 people piled on top of each other.  The small group was 30+ people, and there were about a thousand small groups.  It was interesting, and it introduced me to new challenges, like paying attention to so many people giving their names and the last meal they would eat if on death row (I hate ice breakers) and not laughing in the face of the group leader.
Before you start thinking it, let me inform you of this: I’m an asshole.  This group leader deserves a lot of credit.  He obviously has a strong passion for Christ.  He’s smart, focused in the way that only a former athlete can be, and has a huge heart for people.  He also is very into his lesson plan, and very intent on the group digging into the word and using more than one scripture to make a point.  I was all, “Oh hey, what a good idea!  It’s like a research paper/discussion about what I’m getting from the bible!  Challenge accepted.”
So I’m pretty impressed because this guy knows the book of Mark and the other gospels inside out, and I’m learning a few things while being the loudmouth that I am and adding to the discussion.  Then he brings up Sodom and Gomorrah to illustrate a point.  He explained to the group how God warned Lot he was going to bring judgment on the city he lived in and how because of this chance Lot got to bargain for the city, asking if there were 10 righteous people for the city to be spared, 5 righteous, 1 righteous person.  And because God gave him that warning Lot got the chance to try to save people.
I facepalmed.
Genesis 18:16-33 tells a story about how the Lord was visiting with Abraham, telling him about how Sarah was going to be pregnant in a year, and decided to send two of his angels to check out how awful S&G were.  The Lord told Abraham about how he would be raining judgment down on the cities, and he allowed Abraham to plead for the cities.  He asked that the people be spared if 50 men were righteous, and begged that number down to 10. 
Being the person I am, I turned to the guy sitting next to me to educate him.  I felt we had begun a comradery, since we both used our phones impolitely during the meeting to text and look up scripture.  I whispered at him, “It wasn’t 1 person, it was 10.  And it wasn’t Lot, it was Abraham!”
I honestly felt a little too embarrassed for the leader to tell him in front of everyone that he just used a story to illustrate a point that was told so inaccurately that Fox news would be all over using him as an anchor for their national programming.  So my new pal, being supportive and grateful for this correction, turns to me and whispers,
“Know-it-all!”

Facepalm.

Plans Plans Plans.

19 Thursday Jan 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports

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Personal Update

I have discovered that Riteaid is one of the most depressing places in the world and that for some reason their lack of pricing make-up products will make me buy them. There’s no reason to spend my money on make-up but I did. Do I feel that now, finally, after having acquired the perfect colors and products, after having spent far too much time applying and blending, smoothing and powdering, that now I am beautiful? No. I feel just as empty and ugly as I did before hand.
I have been having incredible writer’s block. The only things I can think about are the things that I shouldn’t bother writing about because they are unedifying even to me. That’s pretty bad! My choice to push myself to write something substantial reminds me of the cold hard truth.

The heart is deceitful above all things & beyond cure.
Who can understand it? – Jeremiah 17:9

Just because I’m saved and cleansed in the sight of God through the blood of Jesus Christ doesn’t mean I’m perfect. It means that there has been a good work begun in me, one that will last for the rest of eternity.
I’ve been feeling anger and bitterness a lot lately. I’ve been unable to do much that is productive. I’ve been trying to wait on the Lord and I’ve been hearing so much noise about how things need to be done immediately that I get frustrated and properly pissed off. And all I have been wanting to do is wait on the Lord. But even when I have the opportunity I find ways to fill my time with vanity.

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:31

So I’m going to be proactive and change this pattern. I’m going to push until I break. I’m going to start trying to live the life I’ve been wishing I have. And this is something I need to do before I move and start school in a little over a month. I want to be certain that I know where to stand and how to act and react before I’m put into another mission field. I’m not prepared as I am today to go, and the time that I’ve been given to spend with God right now is a gift. It’s going to be such a learning experience in so many ways. It’s a new season.

I’m also going to try to get some more blogging accomplished, as well as getting my testimony pulled together.  It’ll be a power point presentation. 

Beautiful Bride

17 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Human Interest

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Other People's Work

I rediscovered a certain band and found out that they have some pretty sick new music.  Here are the lyrics to their song Beautiful Bride, which is all about the church.

Unified diversity
Functioning as one body
Every part encouraged by the other
No one independent of another
You’re irreplaceable, indispensable
You’re incredible, incredible

[Chorus:]
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride

Strengthen your arms now
Train your fingers for battle
Urgency’s here now
Train your fingers for battle
Fighting this violence
With your feet wrapped in peace
Sad tears and silence
Now screams of joy
Victory

[Chorus:]
Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying
Fighting ends in forgiveness
Unite and fight all division
Beautiful bride

Beautiful bride
Body of Christ
One flesh abiding
Strong and unifying

We’re not gonna fall and forget
How far You went to pick us up
If one part’s hurt the whole body’s sick
If one part mourns we all mourn with Him
Rejoice, we’ll sing with you
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Now here’s the video.  🙂

 

No Surprise.

13 Friday Jan 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Human Interest

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Nugget 'O Truth

I read something a while ago that spoke of how we as christians should be expectant.  It was referring to Matthew 7:11, which says that if we as evil people know how to give good gifts to our children, how much better are the gifts our heavenly Father will give if we only ask for them?  What I remember about the article was how it made me realize that when I’m not expecting God to pull through with the best plan for me, be it by providing miracles or not having things go my way, when I’m so surprised that He works all things for the good of His children… I’m not believing that my God is bigger, stronger, tougher, and able to do anything. 
I gave my 2 weeks notice at my job and had my last day at work on January 2nd.  I knew it was time to leave, and that if I didn’t I would never get out or I’d get fired.  I also have been getting a lot of words about going to cosmetology school, and I decided that if God is going to continue to make a point of telling me it’s a good idea, I should look into it.  So, with very little money and a room that I will have to move out of because I can’t afford it, I began to look into school.  And I did what I understand to be the best thing in these situations: started praying for God’s will to be done with my life.  My verse for this year (I decided) is John 9:4:

“As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me.  Night is coming, when no one can work.”

As I said a few posts ago, I want to be proof that God can use what seems too broken. 
If the pattern in my life is that once a year God brings me into a place of desperation that brings Him glory, I’m okay with that.  Yet again He has been answering prayers in the best ways, in ways I’m not entirely sure how to react to because I’m not surprised.  I’m so thankful and grateful, and so amazed, but not surprised.  I almost feel that being surprised would be a waste of time, with so much to be done with the blessings that are being provided and so much rejoicing to do. 

2012 Goals

04 Wednesday Jan 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports, Holidays

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Personal Update

Here is what I think about New Years resolutions.  They’re not important, not alone anyway.  Goals!  They are what resolutions help you to complete!  Without the resolution to achieve a goal there is nothing to get you going!  So I’ve been compiling some goals I’d like to achieve this year, and I won’t get too far into them at this point but it’s good to put them somewhere aside from my graphing notebook.  (best thing ever to have with you for doodling.  There’s so many little squares!)

  1. Stop the Cycles.  I’ve found that my life is moving towards a stagnation state, and the reason is mostly because of the stupid cycles that I continue to let myself run in.  I see them everywhere, in my bad habits, my friendships, my non-existent love life, my work, my lack of blogging.  I like blogging ya’ll!  So I’m going to take a little time to pin point the really bad cycles, the ones that are keeping me from getting more out of life, and try to find the root issues and handle them.  I want to set a better example to those who are younger than me spiritually and literally, and I don’t want myself to get in the way of being seen as someone who adults can trust.
  2. Start a Group/Lead?  “As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work.”  – John 9:4
    This is something that’s been on my mind for a long while, and I haven’t figured out how to do it yet but I’ve been talking with some important-to-talk-to people about it and getting some encouraging feed back.
  3. Get a Clearer Map for Life.  This one is going to require a lot of the painful and desperate prayer that I have not always been known for.  But I want to know God’s directions, I want to know where He wants me to be and I’m determined to put myself in a place where He can pick me up and move me without me fighting back.
  4. Learn about Self-Discipline.  This one is going to be really hard.  That’s all I have to say.
  5. Show Grace.  “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people who are his very own, eager to do what is good. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.”  – Titus 2:11-15

Everything will take some time, and steps will be taken before leaps and bounds.  I’m going to have to get into the Word like it’s my job and pray continually, and learn the true meaning of crucifying the flesh (not literally).  But I want to be able to look back on this year and see that I did start to really dedicate my life to God’s work.  I want to see that I set my dreams and myself aside.  I am not sure what that will look like, but I’m willing to find out.

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Who, me?


I consider myself an eccentric who looks good in jeans, or an amateur at adulthood. I live in Maine, enjoy writing and photography as creative outlets, and listen to some of the worst music you've ever heard. I’m good at sin and bad at following Christ, but I’m still letting Him take the lead. Dirty is my middle name. So is Sean.
The purpose of this blog is to keep a record while I'm unearthing treasures, mapping truths, and navigating life.

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