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The Dirty Dozen: Year End Round-Up

28 Tuesday Dec 2010

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty Dozen, Holidays

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Now that it’s almost 2011 (or as I like to say, Two thousand and Heaven!) I am taking a moment to put together a list of what has made this a great year.

I have become incredibly grateful for the people I know that I would describe as Kindred Spirits, which I would describe as someone who shares beliefs, attitudes, or feelings with me.  I see these things in a few people, such as a dear friend I’ve known since high school who I’ve recently gained a renewed appreciation for.  Sometimes I don’t remember how much we’ve gone through, how close we really are, and quite how lost I’d be without her.  There is also a friend I’ve become re-aquainted with from childhood, who has realized is an amazing woman of God with a soft and sweet heart.  When we were kids we enjoyed the same things and now I have found that we share a way of listening and accepting people without judgment.  And of course, a recent acquaintance that I feel quite kindred with who I find to be similar in attitude on the surface, as well as in our beliefs and longings of the heart.  I am excited to find more wonderful people to connect with and learn from in this coming year.

I don’t think there are good ways to describe soul mates, but I will say that I believe that when you find someone who finishes your sentences and works internally in the same ways… you found one.  I have had the pleasure of finding a few, and the best thing about soul mates is that the friendship will not fail because of hurting each other.  It’s based on understanding and acceptance, encouragement and love. 

I have one other half.  The person that is similar and yet different, because we think with different sides of our brains.  I would be lost without her.  I don’t have much else to say, aside from being so blessed by having her in my life as a hetero-life-partner. 

Luke 8:21  He replied, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.”

From blood relatives to the family that we make for ourselves, I’ve been blessed to experience the good and bad this year.  I’ve seen the best and the worst, but learned from it all about the family that I’ll have someday and how to navigate what I have now.  It is especially encouraging to see my parents get re-married, as it proves to me yet again that God’s forgiveness and grace can come into our lives to produce love and joy.

 

Philippians 3:12-14  Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I am a person who believes in change, and this year there has been a lot of it in my life.  On the surface there has been constant reinvention this year: geographically (I have moved 3 times this year), my surroundings on a personal level with cleaning and decorating my room, my hair color, my make-up, my personal style.  On a deeper level there has been change, I have renewed my faith and purpose by turning my focus back to God, and he has been proving himself worth of my devotion over and over again.  With his assistance I want to continue his reinvention of me, helping me with everything from thoughts to habits.  I’m excited to see what he makes of this year.

Habakkuk 2: 2&3  Then the LORD replied:
   “Write down the revelation
   and make it plain on tablets
   so that a herald may run with it.
 For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
   it speaks of the end
   and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
   it will certainly come
   and will not delay.

Getting to work in a book store was one of the best things about my year.  The written word, aside from being powerful in many ways, is the best way to expand your vocabulary, exercise your imagination, and experience something new or unreal.  It’s my favorite thing in the world.

Esther 2:12  Before a young woman’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics.

This year part of working on myself has been getting to know myself, which happens when I am able to take time to take care of myself.  This includes, but is not limited to: Taking the time to clean my room and organize things to create a pleasant space for my thoughts, decorating with things that are aesthetically pleasing, treating myself to baths with oils and bubbles, candles and cookies, purchasing quality items to last and boost my confidence, getting semi-regular haircuts and mani-pedis, accepting myself for the good and bad for the most part, not trying to hide flaws but working on them and allowing myself space to heal and feel without shutting down and hiding, as well as allowing myself to highlight my good qualities. 

noun, plural -nies. 
1. agreement; accord; harmonious relations.
2. a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.
3. Music .
a. any simultaneous combination of tones.
b. the simultaneous combination of tones, esp. when blended into chords pleasing to the ear; chordal structure, as distinguished from melody and rhythm.
c. the science of the structure, relations, and practical combination of chords.

I like to think of life as a constant opportunity to produce harmony, in music of course (something I learned quite young and adore taking part in), as well as in relationships.  I imagine that the best harmony I will be able to produce will be as a wife, and every friendship I have now I get to exercise that. 

I love arts and crafts time!  This year I’ve been trying to continue with the habit of creating things, for myself and for others.  I’ve been able to make a “soul box” for my soul mate, christmas cards for people I care about, kept sporadically drawing and painting, writing here and there, making jewelry, practicing the guitar, even cooking.  It’s one of the areas in my life where I feel able to really expose myself, whether it be in a raw or refined way. 

Mark 9:42  “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea.”

Kids are the best thing ever.  I adore them and look forward to the time of my life when I get to have my own.  I love being able to play with them, to talk to them, have arts and crafts time with them, sometimes even try to teach them a little.  I am so blessed to be able to have them in my life at all, they refresh and warm my heart.

“I have nothing when I’m living apart from You/Outside, creation groans/To lose our darkness and be made whole/For my feet are close to slipping/Speak to my heart in time/You have promised, so I do believe/You won’t forget this wandering child/Still, I’m so close to being so far away from You/Though I know no one on their own makes it through/My soul clings to the dust/So in Your life, let it be enough” – So Close

“The bush before me, I slip my sandals off/I only stopped to look/In the depths of the sea, in the midst of a great storm/I run, I run from you/Isn’t that just like a finite mind/Setting out with such righteous indignation/But now I’m at your feet/Could you look at me with some imagination” – Imagination

“The weakness of God is mighty/And the foolishness of His love has saved me” – The Way I Come To You, Bethany Dillon

1 Corinthians 1:25  For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

2 Corinthians 4:7  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

Thank God For The Dirty Dozen: TG Edition

25 Thursday Nov 2010

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty Dozen, Holidays

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1 & 2 – God is Awesome.

 

3 – Max, 4 – Travels, 5 – Books, 6 – Sleep and Dreams

7 – Adventures

8 – My Family 

9 – Cupcakes

10 – Harry Potter

11 – Deal Breaker

12 – All of my amazing friends, new and old, that keep my chin up.  Remember you guys…

Happy Thanksgiving.

“You don’t go to the Oceanside bars that the college kids hang out at, do you?” “I prefer the biker bar by the train station. I get more attention there.”

29 Friday Oct 2010

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty Dozen

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  1. It is THAT MUCH closer to Halloween weekend which means I am THAT MUCH closer to getting some quality BFF time! 
  2.  My room has been completely overhauled and cleaned!  That means everything has a place, I got two new shelf type things, and I even dusted as much as possible and vacuumed!    
  3.  I put on a pair of my favorite jeans recently that I haven’t worn in a long time and found a bunch of fortunes in the pocket:  Even the smartest person can learn something from the dumbest.  He who climbs a ladder must begin at the first step.  He who hesitates is last.  Understand yourself so you man understand others.  If your cookie is in 2 pieces, the answer is yes.  From error to error, one discovers the entire truth.  42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.  Faith is a law.  He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.  Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.  If winter comes, can spring be far behind?
  4. I got to spend some time with some wonderful people while in MA, including taking a car ride with the Lumberjack, finding out that there’s a male indian version of me with Kitten, and all three of us crossing our fingers for my cousin’s date thingy.  Oh, not to mention a semi-fail Disney Movie night.  But even half of The Emperor’s New Groove is good enough for me!
  5. Everyone does different things when they are bored, and one thing I like to do is play with my make-up.  I was playing last night while prepping for my Halloween costume (Buzzed Lightyear) and I’m excited to try something a little outlandish but still very me.
  6. Listening to a massive amount of Bethany Dillon this week, including the new CD.  This girl is so young, with such a rich voice, and her songs are simple but explain exactly what I wish I could have said.  I’m not big on worship through music, but her songs absolutely put me in that kind of place.
  7. There is nothing quite so precious as a snuggle with a dog that loves you.  He turned 2 years old this month, and I am trying to spend a bit more time with him, seeing as the dogs are sort of put in a room to hang while the family doesn’t pay attention to them.  There’s nothing quite so lovely as when he jumps up on my leg after work, it’s his way of saying “hey I missed you, will you love me?  I love you!”  Puppy kisses are so good!   
  8. I finally told Sampson I don’t want to talk to him.  I did it for selfish reasons, but sometimes finally standing up for yourself and your own well-being is the best reason to do something.  It’s no good to hold on to the pain and anger just because you don’t want to lose some sort of connection.
  9. Speaking of that special someone for the future, I found an old list of things I want in my future husband and among some silly things (“musician, recreationally.”  “Blue eyes, because I seem to be attracted to brown eyes and I have a feeling it will be opposite.”) there was one at the top of the list that is quite real, and it is “Born again christian, stronger than I”.  I remember not telling anyone about this list, and thinking that people would see me as weak because I want a strong husband.  But as a wise woman once told me, God wants us to be with people who will help us become better christians, the best follower of Christ that we can be.  And if I have a husband who is stronger than I and I love him enough to marry him, I’m thinking I will want to be the best wife and best christian I can be.  Because if not there will be no hope for the marriage, as I believe that if we don’t have God as the center of our marriage it will fall to ruin.  Not that I have any idea who I’m marrying, but I like to be well-educated on things that matter to me.
  10. Sometimes a quick bubble bath just puts you right to sleep… especially with moisturizer milk bubble bath and rose & lavender-scented bath oil.  Indulgent!
  11. Joshua 1:8&9 – Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.  Then you will be prosperous and successful.  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
  12. Pictures from The Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade!  Pictures from here and here.

 

(OK, I don’t know where this last one is from but it’s awesome!)

The Dirty Dozen: Also known as The Only Time I Update

19 Tuesday Oct 2010

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty Dozen

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This week (or weekend at least) has made a name for itself in my book of good things, and therefore I will hopefully have plenty to write about here that isn’t as superficial as my Rebecca Minkoff bag.  (Although I’m still in love with it.)

  1. I got to spend time with a woman this weekend who has already begun effecting my heart in ways it hasn’t felt for a while.  She’s got an incredible love for God and a superb spirit.  She’s sweet and kind and real, and although she’s got ten years on me it doesn’t translate into our friendship.  She feels like an extended-family member, but that might be because I don’t have close relationships with my actual extended-family members. 
  2. On friday I got to trek back to Mass because of a nice weekend off and enjoy a game night at The friend’s apartment (see #1).  Mom and I brought tequila, and no one actually got to sit down to a real game, but it was more fun than I’ve had in quite a while.  People filtered in and out, and by the end of the night I had nicknamed a new friend Kitten and we were all enjoying my self-timer on my little green camera. 
  3. The friend, after discovering that I take great pictures of myself, asked me to take some pictures of her.  So on saturday I got to sit her down and do her hair and make-up and make her feel like at least 50,000 dollars and take some pictures of her.  Our friend (who is henceforth the Lumber-jack) came along, and the pictures turned out really well.  I love giving people the chance to feel beautiful, especially when I know they are and they don’t believe me.  Anyway, I ended up snapping this amazing picture.
  4. One of the reasons that I was getting to know The friend is because she’s amazing and we get along, and another is because my mother set her up with my cousin.  I do not know him very well because he’s 10 years older than I and didn’t live near by.  So after church my aunt, mother, father, cousin, The friend and I went to lunch.  Then the adults decided us kids could hang out, because when you gave birth to someone you will always be in charge of what they do with their time, so we went back to The friend’s and watched the game/I did her dishes.  During the game I asked Cousin all about his life because I knew nothing of it, and he and The friend had some solid discussions and connections and it was really adorable… except for my being the third wheel and bored out of my mind.  So by the grace of God and His holy trinity I was saved from putting myself awkwardly into conversations about things I didn’t know about by the Lumber-Jack, who came over to rescue my sanity.  We all went to grab some grub, and the Lumber-Jack and I agreed that Cousin and The friend are super cute, did a cross-word puzzle, and basically I was incredibly happy to spend time with all of them.  I don’t live near enough to see any of them on a regular basis, so I try to have quality time with people I feel are positive influences on me as much as possible while in the area.  Not to mention watching something possibly begin for two people I really like was amazing.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen something like that.
  5. If I know anything about anything, it’s got to be a little bit about myself.  I know where my mind wanders to when I’m not paying attention, and for quite some time I’ve allowed it because I haven’t cared about how what I’m thinking affects the condition of my heart.  This weekend I began practicing trying to retrain my thoughts.  The biggest problem, I find, is with that female condition; boys.  So, this weekend I began practicing something that I feel is important: refraining from allowing my heart to lust after what I apparently can’t have right now, and trying to put that energy into focusing on God, or even just some sort of project.  The reasons are as follows:
    I have been telling everyone who asks for a while that I really do fall in love with someone almost every day.  I get the warm fuzzies and wallow in the sorrow of being rejected over absolutely nothing!  Someone could look at me, just LOOK, and I begin in my mind the torrid affair of our hearts.  It’s actually really cool in the mind’s eye, because not only do I look like a movie star all the time (Blake Lively) but no matter what He’s got a six-pack and can’t live without me.  In all reality I know for a fact that these things are to be confined to my mind because I have problems trusting males with things such as my heart.  I’ve also realized that for all the times that I’ve become friends with a male based on false pretense so that I could end up making out with them and pretending to be friends later, I’ve never come out of that situation feeling really happy.  I’d describe those feelings that are produced as more fleeting, high, and empty.  Not to say I regret things I’ve done, because I don’t!  I may not broadcast everything I do, but it’s not out of shame.  It’s because (as my Best Friend says) there is a time and a place.  And so, I would like to start living and having relationships that don’t make me feel empty.  If that means only being friends with males, that’s ok.  I know this won’t be the easiest thing to do but I do feel it’s necessary for not only my mental health, but for my heart health. 
  6. Another personal re-mix I’m working on is my daily schedule and things I actually do with said time.  I don’t do much.  I don’t even write as much as I would like to, as you might notice with this barely updated blog.  So I am going to try this week to wake up at a reasonable hour when not working, start reading the Bible in the morning on a regular basis, and my project this week is to clean my room and finish unpacking. 
  7. I just got my new book!  It’s from The Olympians series!  I’m going to open it and take a look… GAAAAH IT LOOKS SO GOOD!!!!!  I’M SO EXCITED!!!!!
  8. I’ve been cleaning my room and it’s looking more and more like MY room instead of the room in my parent’s house where they placed me, so that is something to mention!  I’ve also got some ideas on how to decorate it in a way that makes it feel like a real bedroom, and this is exciting because I am not great at making my rooms really … my rooms.  They are usually sort of bare or really cluttered.  SO!  I’ll be keeping this updated with progress, because I’m excited.
  9. I just downloaded 3 Bethany Dillon CDs on iTunes because I love her and I would like to have some more christian music around since I can’t find my CDs and I’m extremely satisfied.
  10. It’s autumn and I love it!  The colors during this season make me feel so at home… almost as at home as I was in Utah!  And that’s saying something!
  11. Psalm 16:7 – “I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.”
  12. Jeremiah 31:18-20 – “I have surely heard Ephraim’s moaning: ‘You disciplined me like an unruly calf, and I have been disciplined.
    Restore me, and I will return, because you are the LORD my God.
     After I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my breast.
    I was ashamed and humiliated because I bore the disgrace of my youth.’
    Is not Ephraim my dear son, the child in whom I delight? Though I often speak against him, I still remember him. 
    Therefore my heart yearns for him; I have great compassion for him,” declares the LORD.

The Dirty Dozen: Welcome To Autumn

12 Tuesday Oct 2010

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty Dozen

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  1. While it may have been an emotional rollercoaster, I had a great time visiting old friends in MA.  There was a cast party for a production I helped with (make-up artist) and I love getting out of Maine. 
  2. I got to spend some quality/reconnecting time with some very cool people, in particular I was so happy to spend time with a certain 8-year-old playing frisbee, and later listen to his stories about nightmares and injuries.  Also, his little 3-year-old brother made up some incredible stories about Dr. Daceman.
  3. I got a really chic loose and light sweater thing for 10 dollars at TJ Maxx that makes all my outfits that much cooler.
  4. I enjoyed going out to dinner with my Ma and a few friends.  It was all girls except one boy who I got to chat with a bit before the women all decided to ask him about what kind of woman he wants to marry, during which time I drank my martini and put in my decidedly unhelpful two cents when I could.   He and I are friends now because I was the only other person at the table who knew what LARPing was, so we got to high-five and only friends high-five.
  5. While outside the restaurant having a cigarette a girl stopped and told me she loved my purse and I got to gush about it with someone who understood how it feels to have real leather and quality stitching.
  6. The possibilty of having friends from MA come visit is exciting.
  7. Mom and I got to visit with the woman who has been in the hospital, and while everyone else was chatting I helped get the little ones in bed and then got to chat with the grown ups and impress her husband by saying that “Computer engineers don’t need Facebook.”
  8. I have gotten to message back and forth with said woman and I find her to be a really interesting person, very smart and very strong in her faith.  I find myself really relating to some of what she says and also finding it completely refreshing.
  9. I had quite a few days off this week, which usually I hate.  Ok, I did hate.  But I’m trying to keep it positive!
  10. LAST weekend my BFF came up to visit and we had epic pong tournaments and BFF time and so many drinks.  It was fabulous!!!!
  11. Has anyone else noticed the leaves changing?  I love this weather!

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Who, me?


I consider myself an eccentric who looks good in jeans, or an amateur at adulthood. I live in Maine, enjoy writing and photography as creative outlets, and listen to some of the worst music you've ever heard. I’m good at sin and bad at following Christ, but I’m still letting Him take the lead. Dirty is my middle name. So is Sean.
The purpose of this blog is to keep a record while I'm unearthing treasures, mapping truths, and navigating life.

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