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The Belief System of 25-year-old Me (part 4)

20 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports, Holidays, Human Interest

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Nugget 'O Truth, True Life

  1. The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.  That is a quote from Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables.  It’s true.  And one of the most amazing things in life is that no matter who on earth loves me or hates me or thinks I’m nice or thinks I’m an idiot, and irregardless as to whether or not they are correct, God loves me.  He sent is son to die in my place so that I can spend eternity with Him.  I should be happy all the time.  But let’s face it, I’m not.  Mostly that is because…
  2. Being on earth sucks in comparison to what heaven will be like. 
  3. When the H. Sizzle is telling you something you should listen.  Sometimes you get a kick in the face.  Sometimes you get a gut reaction to something.  Sometimes things rub you the wrong way.  Sometimes you look at someone and feel things for them you can’t explain.  There are many ways the Spirit speaks, and we need to figure out how we hear it.
  4. Being a Christian is not generally highly entertaining.  It’s discipline.  It’s work.  It’s hard sometimes because it is BORING.  But pressing on, pushing through, forging across the river of depression, angst and boredom to reach the land of lighter feet is a form of suffering that is all its own.  It is perseverance in a way that not everyone experiences.  And it makes a point…
  5. Some things, the better things, are worth investing in.  Time, money, grey matter, so many things in our lives can be invested in so many ways.  What you invest in is what you value.  What you value reflects where your heart is.

The Belief System of 25-Year-Old Me (part 3)

15 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports, Holidays, Human Interest

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Nugget 'O Truth, True Life

  1. Pain produces more pain.  In this world the reaction to being hurt, the reaction to feeling slighted, insignificant, tormented, stupid, ugly, and broken is to become angry and to take it out on someone else.  Sometimes the someone else is the person that hurt you, sometimes they had nothing to do with it.  This is necessary to keep in mind when you experience pain in any way, shape or form.  As christians we are not called to do this.  We are called to be humble and to bear the burdens of others in our prayer lives. 
  2. Sometimes it’s necessary to be sad.  One of my favorite quotes says as much:  ” Before we can see properly we must first shed our tears to clear the way.”  There are times that I forget as much.  And there are times that I can’t do anything but cry because I’m so very lost.
  3. Superficial conversations are for cowards that are not brave enough to genuinely connect and know other people because they are afraid of being known and being found wanting.
  4. No good deed goes unpunished.  That one is courtesy of my dad.  It’s the truth. 
  5. There is a time and a place for everything.  Things seem wrong in one light and perfect in another.  A song sucks until you are able to fully understand what it means.  A friendship is forced until a certain season creates a bond.  An attraction is a whisper until a look, a conversation, a moment turns another person into the background music of your life.

The Belief System of 25-year-old Me (part 2)

13 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports, Holidays, Human Interest

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Nugget 'O Truth, True Life

  1. God places us wherever he chooses, places people in our lives according to his plans, and lets us go through things that are difficult and pleasant, for our good. This is not for our happiness, for our comfort, for our enjoyment. It’s for our good. According to Hebrews it’s got everything to do with handling the discepline that a father would give his child in order to bring it up in the way that is correct, and according to Romans it has nothing to do with anything fuzzy.

    “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28

  2. If bass lines were men I would be a slut-bucket.
  3. Be who you are without abrasive force upon others.
  4. Let others be who they are, even when there is abrasive force.
  5. Socks must be worn to bed unless it is 100 degrees in the room.

The belief system of 25-year-old me (part 1)

11 Wednesday Jul 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports, Holidays, Human Interest

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Nugget 'O Truth, True Life

Hey kids and my mother!  It’s time to take a few minutes and learn some things!  I am making a list and checking it not at all of all the things I find to be truths in my life.  Some of them are biblical.  Some of them of logical.  Some of them are not.  I’m calling it The Belief System of 25-year-old Me in 5 Parts.  It is in honor of my birthday, which is on saturday, and starting to depress and scare the shit out of me.  So I figured, hey, why not make a list?  A list of things I know about life!  I’ll make it a list of 25 things, so it matches my age!  And there you have my thought process.  So here we go!

  1. Using your cell phone while spending time with someone is pretty much offensive.  I’m pretty defensive of my quality time with people, and I’ve let some get away with this, but I find that when a person doesn’t bring out their phone I appreciate the time all the more.  Don’t get me wrong, I use my cell phone in front of people all the time, but I’m now attempting to put an end to that rubbish.
  2. Saying that you hate drama generally coincides with a dramatic nature. 
  3. If you don’t say something out loud it doesn’t exist.  No one knows what your thinking until its said out loud. Nothing is official until it is given a name. No matter how someone acts the feeling don’t exist unless they admit to them out loud. What is between 2 people that is left unspoken is potentially damaging when unsaid.  For example: Ron and Hermione.  Proof.  Pudding.
  4. Happiness, joy and peace are all very different things.  You can have any or all, at the same time and at different times.
  5. Saying things behind someone’s back that you would say to their face is still talking about them behind their back.  It’s gossip. I’m guilty of it, but that doesn’t make it right. It’s usually mean.  It’s time to end this stupid habit and behave like an adult.

Church Thoughts.

02 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports, Human Interest

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Today at one of my churches the discussion was marriage.  The first thing I would like to say is that yes, I now say one of my churches and I have been wondering how many I can belong to before the “officials” track me down and make me commit to only one.  The second is that marriage has been in so many of the sermons I’ve heard recently that I’m afraid that I’m supposed to be paying attention for some reason.

The main thing that the pastor and his wife were discussing (at least to me and my attention span) was how people need different things from marriage partners.  It’s not even down to 5 Love Languages anymore it’s all the way up to a 10 Needs Worksheet.  The “homework” for married folks was to discuss their top 3 needs and how to meet them with each other.  I was interested but sort of disappointed because it’s not something I can really apply to my life at the moment.  I have to make note of it and remember to review it if/when the time comes for me to start planning the house party that will be the send off to my honeymoon. 

(For the record, according to the quiz for the 5 Love Languages I am all about Receiving Gifts, which is interesting considering I don’t get them from many people aside from my mother.  I sure as heck haven’t gotten many at all from any of the guys I have ever been involved with.  And I do not like meaningless things, last minute grab off the shelf items that have nothing to do with me.  The next on the list was Quality Time, which makes sense.  I like it a lot.  After that was Words of Affirmation.)

The 10 Needs Worksheet contained the following:  Attention (care), Acceptance, Appreciation (praise), Support (bear burdens), Encouragement, Affection, Approval, Security (peace), Comfort (empathy), and Respect (honor). 

I figured out the first thing that I will need from a relationship whenever that goes down.  It was the first thing on the list that I was drawn to, the first thing that I understood really well without having to think about it:  Security.

Definition of SECURITY

 1: the quality or state of being secure: as

            a: freedom from danger : safety

            b: freedom from fear or anxiety

            c: freedom from the prospect of being laid off

2          a: something given, deposited, or pledged to make certain the fulfillment of an obligation

            b: surety

3: an instrument of investment in the form of a document (as a stock certificate or bond) providing evidence of its ownership

4          a: something that secures: protection

            b (1): measures taken to guard against espionage or sabotage, crime, attack, or escape

                        (2): an organization or department whose task is security

Do I fully understand this?  Eh, not really.  Do I understand partially?  Sure.  I’ve been in very insecure place much more of the time than I would like to have been.  I have been in positions where trusting God was the only security in my life, and I was not happy about it, to be honest.  And yet I continue to get myself into these situations.  I continue to pursue what is wrong for me, and to fold to whatever hand is dealt.  I don’t want to do that any more.  I want to be able to know without the shadow of a doubt that there is something mutual, something based on a relationship with God, something exclusive and intentional happening.  I don’t want to deal with subtle, with games, with signals.  What, are we supposed to communicate through fire puffs like Native Americans?  Do we have symbols to decode?  Do I need to learn how to understand key words?  Because I am unwilling to respond to anything that isn’t direct.  And if there is a doubt then there shouldn’t be initiation.  I want security.  I want peace. 

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Who, me?


I consider myself an eccentric who looks good in jeans, or an amateur at adulthood. I live in Maine, enjoy writing and photography as creative outlets, and listen to some of the worst music you've ever heard. I’m good at sin and bad at following Christ, but I’m still letting Him take the lead. Dirty is my middle name. So is Sean.
The purpose of this blog is to keep a record while I'm unearthing treasures, mapping truths, and navigating life.

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