Boys as Friends

19 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports

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Dirty's Report, My Philosophy, Nugget 'O Truth

When I was in High School my best friends were a mixed group, guys and girls. I would go over to my guy friend’s houses or they would come to mine, we would hang out after school, sometimes in a group or just us, watch movies, listen to music, play video games, talk. During college I made some more friends, and some of them were guys who were been better friends to me than 98% of the girls I met at school. After college I had a few co-workers who saved my sanity and were friends like only working together could have made us. They were all guys.
But when it comes to male/female friendships I have found that there are some needless complications that can occur. For instance, attraction or perceived attraction. If you’re dealing with a friend being attracted to another friend, well, either keep it to yourself until it goes away or go ahead and make that friendship strain by telling the person how you feel. Honestly, and this is a technique that I believe to have saved my hide a billion times, I will not tell a male friend if I have feelings for him or if I find him attractive. I will not tell them what they don’t need to know, because

Being friends with someone can make you attracted to their personality, which does not mean that you should have any romantic involvement
Being attracted physically to someone doesn’t mean you should have any romantic involvement
Real talk: I have horrible taste in guys so I should never trust my attractions. Ever.

Hence, don’t bother bringing up something that will put unneeded strain on a relationship. What else does this cover? Usually it also covers what I like to call perceived attraction, which is when you think one of your friends is starting to have feelings for you but you’re not sure. I’ve been on both sides of this one, on the one hand having to put up different boundaries because a male friend was not being subtle at all, and on the other being confused about why a male friend was accusing me of being into him. This situation can get real cloudy real fast in the Christian community, what with the assumption that every single girl is trying to turn you into her husband before she runs out of eggs in her ovary basket. I actually get a little offended when that happens, because I’m a person that prides herself on being very forthright about everything all the time, including my own intentions, and also I’m a prideful sinner and I can’t be perfect, sorry. Not sorry.
So what I’ve come to believe about these male/female friendships is that, as I mentioned before, there should be boundaries. I agree with what Drew Barrymore said,

You have to have endless love with constant boundaries.

I also firmly believe that there are a lot of different people in the world and that my boundaries in my friendships will not be the same as theirs. I’m still finding where the right boundaries are for me, the ones that existed before in the best friendships and the ones that should have been in place in others. I know that my first rule is to attempt to treat all male friends as brothers, which thankfully I’ve had some training for with my little brother being one of my best friends. My second rule for myself is not to take any of it too seriously, but also to know where I stand. Someone will always find themselves watching When Harry Met Sally and reconsidering the entire idea of male/female friendships, and everyone will experience them differently. But where I stand on the subject is that yes, there can be friendships between guys and girls, and that I can say because of experiencing it.

This Year…

03 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports, Holidays

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Dirty's Report, My Philosophy

A bad habit I’m going to break: How about… procrastination? That’d be a great one to break because it would get me into a pattern of actually accomplishing things, including breaking other bad habits.
A new skill I’d like to learn: This will be the year of the driver’s license, may my mother nag me until I’m dead if I don’t accomplish this goal. Also, perhaps I will be exploring the Gemology courses that she has taken. She’s a good tutor, and she already has the books.
A person I hope to be more like: I guess I don’t know, aside from certain aspects of certain people that I’d like to try to incorporate into what makes me who I am. I’d like to have some of the discipline of Tink, who would wake up way too early to read the bible and schedule in a work out every day. I’d like to have some more patience and compassion, like my wonderful BFF. And I’d like to surprise people with what I’ve done while they weren’t paying attention, much like Beyonce.
A good deed I’m going to do: I’m hoping to put away/send in a check to a favorite non-profit of mine. First I want to figure out where the money will come from… basically I want to actually plan this one out.
A place I’d like to visit: Apparently I’m going to be going to a wedding in Florida (yay Holly!), but other than that I would love to visit Boston, and perhaps Burlington, VT.
A book I’d like to read: I want to read way too many to list here.
A letter I’m going to write: I want to write a letter to my sister. She hates me. I’m more than she can handle, so maybe she can handle just a letter.
A new food I’d like to try: I think I’m going to be exploring the world of seafood, and also the use of crock-pots. Other than that I have a zillion things pinned to my food board on Pinterest so…
I’m going to do better at: Finding where my priorities lie, which is essential for scheduling my time wisely. I also hope to become better at sticking to schedules, because if I set them for myself I tend to shrug them off. I’d like to become more accustomed to the boundaries that scheduling my time will provide, because I do believe it will make me more productive. And ultimately that is what I want to be better at, being more productive.

SOAP: Believing What You’re Told

17 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty Little..., Dirty's Reports, SOAP

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Scripture:

“And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” – Luke 1:45

Observation: This verse comes from the little story in the beginning of Luke about Mary going to visit her relative Elizabeth. They were both pregnant, and Elizabeth was soon to give birth to John the Baptist. She had been barren, and the bible described her as “advanced in years”, so this was obviously a miracle pregnancy for her. It didn’t quite compare to the one that Mary had going on, what with having conceived through the Holy Spirit.
Mary was young and about to get married when she was told that she was chosen to carry the Son of the Most High. She could have responded in so many ways, from terror to anxiety to denial, but she decided to go with it. Instead of asking useless questions (aside from the obvious one) she accepted what was spoken over her life with a simple “let it be to me according to your word.”
When she went to visit Elizabeth she was welcomed with not only confirmation of the angel’s words but also someone who could relate to the experiences she was going through. Obviously Elizabeth didn’t have the exact situation going on as Mary, but she was also proof that God could create life in any of His willing servants. While Elizabeth was serving as a picture of how God can create life out of the barren and aged, Mary was a picture of how He could create life from absolutely nothing but a servant’s heart.

Application: For one thing there is a very clear message in this verse itself, that belief in what the Lord speaks into your life will result in being blessed. But belief is what, telling yourself over and over that what God said will come true? Reminding yourself when you don’t believe that you need to at least pretend to believe?
Don’t get me wrong, I think belief is key in our walks with Christ, mainly because without belief we will not be able to take steps forward in faith. What I struggle with when I read words like belief and faith is finding a way to take these almost abstract ideas that the bible is loaded with and turn them into something that I can apply to my daily life. Faith isn’t just belief, it’s belief in action. And belief isn’t going to get you anywhere by itself, because faith gives it maturity.
So when this verse says that Mary is blessed because she believed it is much more than simply thinking it would happen. She had to wake up every day knowing she was pregnant with the Son of God, and endure whatever ridicule and rumors spread about her. She had to do what the angel told her to do and go visit Elizabeth, which is belief in action. In order to apply this verse to my life I need to really take the time to listen to what God is saying and to believe that He will fulfill His promises, to take steps forward to where He wants me to be.

Prayer: God, this is my least favorite time of the year. Holidays are the worst. Even the one all about Christ makes me want to stay in bed until next year. I know that there is supposed to be joy in this season but I don’t want anything to do with the season at all.
But you know this. You know every part of me. My heart is not hidden from you, even when I want it to be. The fact that you don’t punish me for eternity for most of what I am is the best blessing I could ever receive. You have already spoken over my life and I do believe that you are fulfilling your promises, and I pray you’ll give me the strength to walk in faith towards the places you have prepared for me.

Things TV Teaches Me: Fools Rush In

17 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty's Reports, Things TV Teaches Me

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Dirty's Report, tv lessons

It would appear that the way of the world has not changed quite as much as we would think. Now, let’s preface this with a disclaimer: Obviously this show is not a historical documentary. It’s actually more like an excuse to dramatize history using pretty people and sexy times. On to what we can learn from it!
Commitment should not be taken lightly.
King Henry didn’t get it. According to this show, he constantly put his happiness, desires, and expectations ahead of everything and everyone. He actually reminds me of people I’ve met in recent years, more proof that human nature doesn’t change over the centuries.
These days people still fly by the seat of their pants about marriage and commitment because, as they say, there’s always divorce. But that’s not what God intended and it’s not what leads to a fulfilled life. Marriage was designed to be a reflection of something that we can’t be a part of yet, something holy and everlasting. Even trying to imagine God viewing commitment the same way we do makes me feel unclean, because I know He could never be anything but perfect.
Yet history and culture show us repeatedly that we take things lightly. We make commitments and rip hearts apart without understanding the consequences. We selfishly throw a fit when we don’t get things easily or our way. And we are very much like this king who can’t make up his mind.
It makes me cringe to watch this show, with all of the characters best laid plans that never seem to go the way that they were intended to. Take Anne Boleyn, who managed to get the king to leave his wife for her and marry her, had his daughter, and then got her head cut off. What we think will satisfy the desires of our hearts ultimately leads us down a road to death. I fall into this selfish, consumerist way of thinking on the regular. But thankfully my King is one who forgives my desire driven sins, and that’s why I want to be a part of His kingdom. Trash mine, it’s a waste of time and energy; give me His.

For What It’s Worth

16 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by Meagan Sean in Dirty Little..., Dirty's Reports

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Let’s talk about gold for a minute.
Gold is not very useful. It’s soft, so soft that in the old days pirates would bite coins to make sure they were gold. You can’t exactly make a sword with it and expect it to cut somebody. I’m 65% convinced that the person’s body heat would make the sword bend around their body.
It’s not good for building houses unless you want to slowly sink into the foundation. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 3 we are told expressly that building a foundation using things like straw, hay, wood, precious stones, or GOLD will lead to some very unhappy homeowners.
I’ve heard the saying “…where the streets are paved with gold” before and recently realized that no one should ever go to that place. For one, what kind of people are in charge of that place? Are they using gold bricks as a road? How could they think that’s a good idea? Also, it will become so soft that everyone will leave foot prints, much less tire marks. Who is paying for all of that gold being replaced when it becomes so dirty and indented that there is no longer a street? It’s a stupid idea.
The gold used in jewelry is mixed with other, stronger metals. If you had even a 85% gold ring it would bend all over your finger and probably break right off. It doesn’t make sense that such a pliable metal is sold for so much money. Why is it so expensive?
Because we decided it was. Back in the day, someone found a rare rock that was yellow and shiny and decided to hold on to it at any cost. They thought it was beautiful. They kept it.
Now let’s talk about God.
He made man to be something that reflected everything that He is, and man went ahead and became something … well, broken. Because of sin there isn’t really a good use for us either. We are horrible reflections of God on a regular basis. We are useless in our own ways, instead of showing the world God’s love and promises we are hateful, deceitful, selfish.
But because God is crafty (hello, the Creator of all) He puts value on us. He found us to be so valuable that His son died for our lives. Through Christ we are worth far more than what we should be valued at. We are able to become new creations. We are no longer broken creations. When we are in Christ, we are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). We become God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).
Basically, if we are to God what gold is to us we can be secure in what He has done and no longer need to find our worth elsewhere. We don’t have to impress anyone, or be the best at our work, or need other people to love us. We can rest, assured that we know how much we’re worth to God.