I got a word from God during the first month I moved to the state I am living in. He told me to wait. That’s it. He said “Wait for him.” I decided after a few months that I had waited and now I was done. I got involved with someone, promptly lost my head, bruised our hearts and ruined a friendship. I was disobedient, and have learned a lot in the process about humility and forgiveness. After that calamity ended I found myself thrown into a season of change that left me no room for even thinking about relationships, which has been a blessing.
Recently I started feeling the impatience trying to sneak back in. It feels like the emotional version of when a person has physical nervous tension, always fidgeting, unable to be still. I prayed about it, vacillating between requesting patience and begging for satisfaction. Somehow I managed to keep my mind from running too far ahead of me, but I still couldn’t get it to sit still on the matter. And, of course, there were the dreams.
I had 3 dreams about specific situations. I had 2 a while back, and I couldn’t understand what they meant. I got royally unsure of their meaning, thought my heart was running around while I was asleep and making up plans that would never really happen but would lead me to a great deal of disappointment. I hated having these dreams. I listened to people I trust and processed a fair amount about the way God gives dreams and reasons or meanings behind them. I thoroughly believed that my mind was out of control, processing things behind my back, and unsure of where God was in all of this.
I also, every once in a while, prayed God would give me another dream so that I could see how the story played out.
One day, my first dream became a bit more real. It wasn’t exact, the details were hard to remember from the dreams themselves, but the correlation of the event, people, emotions, and everything was absolutely uncanny. Did I realize that at the time? Yes and no. I still was in a veiled state. Then, the second dream became a bit more real. Again, a large amount of correlation was there. I started to get nervous about the meaning of all this, at the time I couldn’t see the way things were lining up and I didn’t feel secure or stable at all emotionally when it came to the situation. I prayed hard for peace about it and for the people involved.
Last week I had the 3rd dream and the very next day the dam of understanding broke. During a conversation I accidentally processed things and realized I understood what I had understood in the dream. The message of the dreams, the reason I had them and the reason they have been unfolding in a very real way is for God to reiterate his point.
“Wait. Wait for me to show you what I want to show you. Wait for me to walk you through the situation I’ve prepared you for, wait for me to give you understanding of these things. Now that I’ve shown you some of the story, now that you see what I have as a plan unfolding and specifically designed for this part of your life, wait. Be patient. Guard your heart and do what I tell you.”
While I have been able to process these things, the 3rd dream still hasn’t played out yet completely. But I have an overwhelming peace about it happening, or not. If it does play out, I feel prepared, if it doesn’t I still will be able to wait.
Why is this something I feel ok posting about? Because this process of waiting on God is difficult, and it’s tiresome, and I get bored and I think I know better… But I don’t. And God knows how to give me just enough to remain faithful, and just enough to continue following the plans He has for me. And because I want these things to encourage those of you who may feel that God doesn’t speak to them, or doesn’t give them any sort of understanding about the future. Sometimes he speaks to us in strange ways; this is the first time I’ve been able to hear him loud and clear through a dream. Usually it’s different. But my point is that no matter what situation you are in and no matter what you think you know, you have no idea. There is a really powerful God up there that can speak to you in ways you can’t imagine. Just request it, and wait for it.