Tag Archives: Human Interest

Chronicles of Don’t: Thoughts on Friends

04 Monday Nov 2013

Posted by in Chronicles of Don't, Dirty's Reports

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I have had a few different best friends. My sister; we bonded over Stockholm syndrome. My best friend from high school; we went through a lot of stuff and she’s still important to me. My best friend from college; still my best friend. I’ve also had the pleasure of keeping in touch with certain people over the years who i consider to be good friends.
And then there are the Don’ts.
I used to have the opposite of trust issues. I wouldn’t call myself gullible, but I was optimistic about the people in my life being honest and truthful, caring and considerate. Now I see that I was naive.
My superhuman ability to trust people created a doormat of a person. I would allow people to walk all over me.

You were supposed to be here at 6 and it’s 6:45? I’m sure there’s a good reason for it.
You only keep me around so that you can feel thinner/more educated/more sophisticated/tell a more stories/never feel threatened that the cute guy will choose to talk to you? Great, lots of pressure off me.
You want me to let you into your ex boyfriends building so you can have another confrontation? I’m your girl!
You want to only contact me when it’s convenient for you, every 8 months or so? I’ll answer my phone, no worries.
Your mom died? Please, let me introduce you to my mom so you can have some positive maternal figure in your life.
Wait, you mom didn’t die? But, wait, why did you tell the entire faculty at school that she did? Why did you need to get a loan from my mother and never pay it back? Why did you have to live with my mother rent free, take a free trip to California? Why did you decide to lie about your brother dying as well? Why did you lie about being pregnant? Is the kid you swear up and down that you had in college real? No?
Wait, why am I doing this?

That was the first turning point. Knowing that someone could lie so thoroughly about everything and get away with it, leeching as much as possible from the lives of people who care about them… I stopped being so optimistic.
Then there was almost 10 years of friendship that were voided when I gave a bad haircut. No excuses, a bad haircut is a bad haircut, also I can hardly remember what it turned out to be. I like to block out bad memories I guess. But what did get seared into my mind was the phone call where I was told some of the most hurtful things I’ve ever had to listen to. She was my best friend through so many years, and just like that the entire friendship dissolved. I wanted to believe that the good qualities of our friendship would outweigh the negative ones, but ultimately our friendship is one I don’t miss much.
And life without these friendships is less dramatic. I didn’t realize how much room in my brain was being taken up with stupid fights, hissy fits, drug problems, eating disorders, health issues, my own constant fear of someone I love killing themselves somehow just because I had decided to keep people in my life who didn’t deserve my trust. Life is dramatic enough. Now I don’t have to worry about the unnecessary excess of emotional baggage.
Of course I am not a perfect friend either. I don’t keep in touch very well. I usually say the wrong thing at the most inappropriate time. I also say the wrong thing at the appropriate time. I generally just say the wrong thing a lot. It’s taken me years to learn what the true meaning of loyalty is. It’s taken a lot of observation to understand what consideration and love look like when you use them. But now one issue I don’t think I have to worry about as much is being a doormat. I am who I am and sometimes that’s a pushover, but I also have a better idea as to what being taken advantage of looks like. And I couldn’t have known that without the help of my (former) friends.
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National Suicide Prevention Week

08 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by in Dirty's Reports, In Memoriam

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There are many logical arguments against the act of killing oneself. Sadly, the desire to kill yourself does not rest on logic. There are so many reasons that people discover in themselves, their lives, their hearts that add to the continually mounting evidence in a case brought against their existence. Often these trials are kept secret, and there are times when the accuser wins. And there are times when that leads to death.
Those who knew someone who committed suicide can find themselves not knowing what to do with themselves. They don’t know where to direct their questions to have actual answers, because the answers are often gone. The world gets flipped upside down an turned back right side up, but in the process someone went missing. Maybe they couldn’t hold on, maybe they let go to fall into the sky.
National Suicide Prevention Week (NSPW) is an annual week-long campaign in the United States to inform and engage health professionals and the general public about suicide prevention and warning signs of suicide. You can find more information here, here, and here.
I think acknowledging and supporting broken people is an incredible way to show the love of Christ. In Psalm 107 there are stories of different people who lose all hope, but in the moment they call out to God they are delivered (v.20). What better way to serve God than to deliver His word to those in despair?
As Jesus said, “go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole of creation” (Mark 16:15). He gave us a job to do, because we have a battle to fight for every life. We are to defend, aid, and relay the truth:
Yes, you deserved death, but you have a savior who has given you the chance to have a new life. He loved you so much that he already died for you (John 3:16). In Him there is no condemnation, and your accuser will be silenced (Revelation 12:10).
So I encourage you to keep the word of God in your heart and to pray for those who are struggling. Pray for the families and friends of those who are already suffering from the silence of unanswered questions. Pray that the body of Christ does not fail to support the heavy hearted, and that Christ will be given the opportunity to take their burdens.dirty

Couscous and Brussel Sprout Salad

02 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by in Adventures in Food, Crafty Little...

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I’ve never given a hoot about couscous, and for a really long time I thought brussel sprouts were the absolute worst. The reason I felt this way was mainly because I had never tried them, and when I finally stopped acting like a child and pulled on my big-girl pants and tried them… Well, I had been wasting so much good eating time. Such a fool.
A roommate of mine got me into eating couscous because it was a staple in her cupboards, and when I found this recipe for couscous and brussel sprouts salad I basically knew that this was an incredible score. Not only does it have enough girth to make you feel full, but it’s deceptively healthy because it uses a few pieces of bacon to make the flavor out of this world!  Ingredients:
15 brussel sprouts
1 box of couscous (I picked a parmesan flavored one)
4 strips of bacon
1 clove of garlic, diced or smashed or whatever
1 TBSP of oil
2 TBSP of water
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First you want to put on the appropriate amount of water to boil for the couscous, whatever the box says. When it’s boiling you put in the couscous and flavoring, put a lid of in and set it aside off the hot burner.
Then you want to put the bacon in a pan to fry up while you are washing and cutting the brussel sprouts. I kept the pan at about medium heat through the whole thing. I put in the tbsp of oil with the bacon because you use the oil after you take the bacon out to cool.
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After cutting off the ends and yucky leaves from the sprouts you want to quarter them. It makes some of the little leaves fall off, but it’ll be great I promise.
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After flipping the bacon once and burning myself badly by flinging oil on my hand/wrist, I took the bacon out and let it cool on a few paper towels. I put my garlic in the garlic press thing and added it to the oil, then threw in my brussel sprouts and tossed them in the pan. Make sure a lot of them are able to lie flat on the pan, they get a great sear from the bacon-grease-oil.
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After letting the sprouts saute for about a solid minute, mix the sprouts up and let them saute again on the other side. You want them to get nice and browned on at least one side. Then you add the 2 tbsp of water and put a lid on it for 2 minutes. This lets the sprouts steam up a little without losing the flavor. During that 2 minutes chop up the bacon real quick.
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Take the sprouts and the bacon and mix them up in a bowl. Try not to eat too much of the bacon.
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Fluff up the couscous a little bit and then add it to the sprouts and bacon. Mix it, mix it real good, and there you have it! I love making this and then having it for lunch at work for a few days. It’s light enough not to make me need a nap but substantial enough to keep me full for a while. And it’s really yummy!
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Best of the Best

28 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by in Dirty Little..., Dirty's Reports

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sharingiscaringRelationships are difficult.  They require so much work, not just when they begin, but through out their entire existence if you want them to thrive.  You only seem to get back what you put into them, which can be a really hard thing for people to understand.  Sometimes people put in too much, sometimes they put in too little.  Sometimes they take all of the benefits, and sometimes they don’t want anything to do with them.  It’s incredibly difficult to figure out where the balance is for the give and take.
I am incredibly thankful for the relationships in my life where I don’t have to spend a lot of time computing what amount of effort I should be putting into a relationship.  I have 3 relationships currently that have their own sort of balance, and they make life so much easier for me.

1.  My BFF, best friend forever, my Fab Twin, the Trixy to my Vixy, the Blair to my Serena… depending on the day, we switch these rolls.  She and I are not always balanced with our efforts on the day to day, but all of the imbalances on the small scale balance out on the big one.  We both give, we both take, and we both enjoy the rewards of our efforts.
2.  I have the perfect balance with Netflix.  I give them $8 a month and they give me the inability to have a social life.  It’s a model I would love to see replicated in many more of my relationships.
3.  Christ doesn’t ask me for much more than my entire life, and in return gives me eternal life with Him.  It’s actually incredibly imbalanced, because the efforts I have to put in to it are nothing compared to what He has already done for me.

Does anyone else find balance in relationships difficult?  Are there some relationships that are just easier to balance?

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