14 Sunday Jul 2013
Posted in Dirty Little..., Dirty's Reports, Human Interest
This year I feel like I’ve only learned one thing that’s noteworthy: if you can survive a loved one’s death you can live through any heartache or break that comes along.
09 Tuesday Jul 2013
Posted in Dirty Little..., Dirty's Reports
27 Thursday Jun 2013
Posted in Dirty Little..., Dirty's Reports
You know what I don’t like? Tea. You know what I’m drinking right now? Tea.
I have a very romantic ideology of tea, what with it being British and something Doctor Who drinks for it’s antioxidants, but… I can’t.
For one thing, I don’t know if I can make it correctly. The flavor seems off, and since I’m stealing it from my super cool brother while he isn’t home I’m guessing at how much to put in with the water in the thingy that he got from Teavana. Also, it takes possibly 15 minutes to make. That is a lot of time I could be sitting and playing Angry Birds, or doing laundry, or contemplating the idea of exercise while watching HBO.
I’ll finish my mug, just so I’m not wasting my brother’s money. And I’m very overtired and feeling icky so maybe it’ll do me some good, but God, at such a cost.
I try at times to find different beverages to pass my time trying because I usually drink water or vodka, whiskey, tequila, etc. I keep thinking that the key to not coming home from work and taking 2 shots while complaining about how no one in this family understands that dinner time is at 6:30 pm and not 9 pm is to switch from shots to something else. I have considered coffee, but what with how it makes me feel sort of ill and jittery, plus how I am a fan of teeth whitening strips that may make my teeth all the more able to stain, I don’t really go for it these days.
I’ve been thinking that perhaps a pretentious sparkling water would work, as I’m a huge fan of San Pellegrino Pompelmo. It is the most delicious of all the sparkling lemonade drinks in the entire world, but it’s expensive. I got bills, son, about 40 grand of ‘em. I can’t always be spending $10 on a six pack of mineral water goodness. So I have tried to switch over to polar seltzer water. I only buy it in 12 packs of cans because it’s the best way to force yourself to drink a carbonated beverage before it goes flat, and the rest of the supply won’t get flat either. I have a few issues with this beverage as well though, such as how it’s not very tasty unless you doctor it. This can be problematic because I always seem to find vodka in the mix… also, it’s quite dehydrating. I always feel way more thirsty after having a can, and the more I drink the thirstier I am! Then there is the fact that my brother likes to steal them and drink 6 out of 12 cans in 36 hours of their being in the house. This becomes a problem, because I have an issue with running out of things. For some reason I need to have something fully restocked before I use the last of it.
My point is, this is my journey. It’s a part of my life and in this season I am trying to figure our how to tantalize and entertain my taste buds without alcohol. Suggestions are welcome.
13 Thursday Jun 2013
Posted in Dirty Little..., Dirty's Reports
A while ago I found this guy who really understands me. It’s like, no matter where I am in my life he seems to know exactly what’s going on with me, and he always knows how to say it out loud so I don’t have to.
Too bad he’s dead.
The apostle Paul knew exactly what I am going through today. He even wrote it down for me.
“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.” – 1 Timothy 1:15-16
I have always known I am the worst Christian, and it’s something I’ve come to accept about myself. No matter how many people I’ve met, no matter how many could say that they are worse, I’ve known for a long time that they can never understand how deeply sinful my heart is.
I used to feel relieved when I found out that people who I considered holy were sinners too. The girl who read her bible all the time had a selfish streak a mile wide. The guy who acted as a spiritual leader was jobless and petulant about it. The super compassionate and loving had a bit of a drinking issue and a history of premarital sex. I was so happy when a beloved pastor’s wife spoke louder than normal to get her point across about a broken dish that I almost forgot that it was her way of yelling at me, because I finally saw a side of her I could relate to: the human side.
I get very impatient. I decide to do something myself or decide it will never happen. I get anxious when waiting for something that is promised or guaranteed, to the point of convincing myself it will never get here. These are not very good ways to prove my trust in an incredibly patient God.
When Paul says that he was shown mercy so that Christ Jesus would be able to display his immense patience I feel like the man had visions of a future where an impatient and rebellious girl would never be satisfied. It’s like God gave him a special dream where he showed a bunch of tin boxes with wheels and big metal birds and enormous scary buildings, pointed out a girl in the middle of it with constantly changing hair color and whispered in Paul’s ear, “She is going to have days where she won’t believe that she will be able to make it. I need you to write to her and remind her about me.”
And that’s what I’m getting today, a reminder of why I’m here and what my life is about. I get to read a reminder that Christ is working in me, being patient with me beyond my understanding, so that my life can be an example to other people. And when I remember his patience, which I don’t think anyone else in the world can have for me, I want to have that patience. I want to be an example of what the patience of Christ Jesus looks like on this earth. So that’s what I’ll be praying for, because believe me, I’m not there yet.
09 Sunday Jun 2013
Posted in Dirty Little..., Dirty's Reports
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The little bro and I got bored and decided to take a walk on the beach. One of the best things about living with my parents is the proximity to the prettiest stretches of beach… it’s only about a 10 minute drive from our house.
The weather was beautiful but it was really hazy as well. I think it actually made for some cool photos, since the fog in the distance kept what I was focusing on, well, in focus.
Little bro declared that we had found Sand Circles, which seems to be the aquatic variation of Crop Circles. It was pretty, a floral design in a huge rectangle. Obviously we have found signs of life beyond the surface of the ocean. Mermaids.
Dirty Sean 