Category Archives: Dirty’s Reports

SOAP: Thoughts on Soil

21 Monday Oct 2013

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DSC_0536Scripture:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22&23

Observation: When we are living life through the Spirit of God our qualities become more like His. I do not have many of these qualities. And I need them.
Breaking down the concept of fruit, how does one get fruit? Through a plant. How does one grow a plant? By planting a seed. How does one get a good, healthy, strong plant that grows amazingly delicious fruit? By planting it in good soil and tending to it.
I can see that I’m missing some of the fruit of the Spirit in my life, and I’m convicted. I have not been tending the seed of faith that God gave me, and I may even be polluting it’s soil.
On a side note, this realization has nothing to do with anyone else. I’m the kind of person that will compare things in my life to anyone else’s, and this conviction has nothing to do with anyone I have compared myself with, it’s just a straight up message from God that’s popped up on my hard drive. As Galatians says in chapter 6, each one should test his own actions so that he can take pride in himself without comparing himself to somebody else, because each one should carry their own load.

Application: I have this conviction that I need to start “tending the garden”, so to speak. And I feel, above the human tendency toward shame and guilt, blessed to have a God who wants to show me that I need to change some things. His guidance and mercy in this revelation gives me more faith in what He can do, and more determination to start “tending the garden”. So how do I do this?
I read recently that the fruit of the Spirit grows in the soil of obedience. Them’s strong words for a rebellious sinner like me. But I’ve thought of two things that will hopefully aid me in using this statement as encouragement.
For one, the H. Sizzle works in us in ways that we can’t even imagine, because it’s the Spirit of God and He can do all things. He can do things like take the small amount of patience, kindness, or joy that I have and turn it into a mountain of fruit. He can take any small investment and turn it into a huge return. So while I take small steps in faith I know that God will have a wonderful journey set out ahead of me.
Secondly, I do recall that in Isaiah even Jesus “grew up before him like a young plant”. Jesus himself had to deal with the temptations and trials of being human. Sure, Son of God, absolutely perfect and all that, but then this description… Because he was also human. It wasn’t necessarily the fact that He is the Son of God that made Him grow so well. Looking at the Gospels show that He wasn’t just preaching the gospel and sleeping and eating, He took the time to cultivate His garden. So while I am not perfect in any way, I still find encouragement in that the most perfect Son of God still “tended His garden”.

Prayer: God, thank You for being able to bring me into places where I can be repentant and hopeful. Thank You for being merciful enough to forgive me for being imperfect, and still desiring to draw me closer to You. You know how weak my will is, how difficult it is for me to change, but You are bigger and stronger than my will ever is. Thank You for sending the Holy Spirit and for the work that will be done in me. While I try to take the steps towards obedience I pray that You will guide my feet and give me endurance. Thank You for being with me every step of the way.
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Things TV Teaches Me: Fools Rush In

17 Thursday Oct 2013

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It would appear that the way of the world has not changed quite as much as we would think. Now, let’s preface this with a disclaimer: Obviously this show is not a historical documentary. It’s actually more like an excuse to dramatize history using pretty people and sexy times. On to what we can learn from it!
Commitment should not be taken lightly.
King Henry didn’t get it. According to this show, he constantly put his happiness, desires, and expectations ahead of everything and everyone. He actually reminds me of people I’ve met in recent years, more proof that human nature doesn’t change over the centuries.
These days people still fly by the seat of their pants about marriage and commitment because, as they say, there’s always divorce. But that’s not what God intended and it’s not what leads to a fulfilled life. Marriage was designed to be a reflection of something that we can’t be a part of yet, something holy and everlasting. Even trying to imagine God viewing commitment the same way we do makes me feel unclean, because I know He could never be anything but perfect.
Yet history and culture show us repeatedly that we take things lightly. We make commitments and rip hearts apart without understanding the consequences. We selfishly throw a fit when we don’t get things easily or our way. And we are very much like this king who can’t make up his mind.
It makes me cringe to watch this show, with all of the characters best laid plans that never seem to go the way that they were intended to. Take Anne Boleyn, who managed to get the king to leave his wife for her and marry her, had his daughter, and then got her head cut off. What we think will satisfy the desires of our hearts ultimately leads us down a road to death. I fall into this selfish, consumerist way of thinking on the regular. But thankfully my King is one who forgives my desire driven sins, and that’s why I want to be a part of His kingdom. Trash mine, it’s a waste of time and energy; give me His.
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Chronicles of Don’t: The POP Experience

09 Wednesday Oct 2013

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I have never been a fan of dating around just to see what’s out there. That said, I seem to have a good idea of what’s out there due in part to having dated around. For instance, some guys are Perfect on Paper (POP): Pick a description of a perfect guy and this guy is that. It’s uncanny. But in my experience, POP doesn’t take you as far as you’d think.
My POP happened in college. He really could have been perfect, except for the part where he wasn’t perfect for me. But seriously, if he had applied for the job of my boyfriend I would have hired him after just reading his resume, no interview needed. He and I had so many things about our upbringing that were similar, he was tall and adorable, he could dress himself, he had a job and took care of himself financially for the most part, and his parents were British so he could do a great British accent. Oh, and did I mention my parents loved him? Yeah.
Even before I agreed to go out with him I could hear the “don’t!” and successfully ignored it. He and I had been friends for a long time, and even though I didn’t want to ruin that… Well, I did. We didn’t talk for a long time after we broke up.
We were supposed to be a great match. He was sweet, one of the only guys to ever take me out on dates, affectionate… but it didn’t work. Our personalities were not right for each other. I was too snarky, we had a different sense of humor entirely, and he kept trying to get me to quit smoking “for my health”. Also, he was a bad kisser. (Like, we were at the same party once after we had finally become friends after the break up and instead of letting him kiss me I went off and made out with some possibly Russian foreign exchange student. Evasion: successful!)
But it wasn’t his fault. I still think of him as a friend, he’s a great kid. And I’m glad that I dated him because God got to show me that what I had in mind for myself as perfect is no where near as good as what He’s designed as my perfect. And while that’s a difficult lesson to learn, it’s ultimately what keeps me from making even more Don’ts than I currently do.
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SOAP: Gimme That. Please.

01 Tuesday Oct 2013

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myownScripture:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7

Observation: This one is pretty clear cut, Jesus says that if you take the first step in action by asking, seeking, knocking, we will receive results.

Application: This scripture is about such a dangerous process if you’re a proud idiot like me. Praying that God would secure me for whatever tragedy comes next just a week or two before a friend dies. Seeking and praying for a job and finding one that helps make ends meet but isn’t something I’m necessarily passionate about. Asking Him to make it clear if someone should be in my life or take them out of it, then forgetting how many times I prayed that and being really upset when they are removed from my life. And when I remember that I asked for it what I want to do is throw an infantile fit, but what I have to do is thank God for mercifully answering prayers.

But when I find myself in times of hardship I don’t think first of asking God for help. There are things that I need to start asking for that I’ve been considering too small for God to care about, which is not true. I’ve cycled back into a place of believing that He’s too busy, that I am too small.

Prayer: God, you have already told me that I am not too small of a concern. You have said in Your word that each one of us was created by Your own hands, and You sent Your son to die for our sins before someone like me was even born. I know that You care for me, but I have been thinking that it only goes so far. I’m sorry for doubting that You care about each moment of my life, and I pray You’ll renew my heart on this matter. I can’t just remember on my own, so I’ll take whatever reminders You want to send me. And thanks for how You’ve already proven Yourself so greatly, in such big and wonderful ways. Thank You for giving me the times You’ve provided to remember in times like these, so that I can see the proof of who You are. dirty

The Chronicles of Don’t: How It All Began

25 Wednesday Sep 2013

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I guess I was ornery from the womb.  I was born a day early because I thought I was a gymnast and had turned myself doing somersaults and cartwheels and wrapped the umbilical chord around my body and twice around my neck.  If someone had told me not to, I still would have done it.  It wasn’t the best of times for my mother. I didn’t care. I was a baby who dreamed of Olympic gold achieved by perfectly landing the dismount from the crossbeam.
Thus began the Chronicles of Don’t, as I like to call the bad decisions I’ve made in my life.
Another example of this was when I was a baby and tried to put a fork into the electrical socket. I did not heed the warnings of Grandpa Paul. I did not care. I most likely had no idea what he was saying, as I firmly believe that babies can’t understand English. I think they can only understand tone and expression, like a dog or a man in an argument.
Then there was the Christmas morning that brought me a beautiful silver jackknife with my initials engraved on the side, and an apple. We had let the parents sleep in and I distinctly remember deciding to cut my apple with my knife, and then standing in the hallway outside the first floor bathroom bleeding, probably not as profusely as I thought, and knowing that I would have to go upstairs and wake up mom and dad. I was so sure they would take the knife away, and I think that was most of the reason that I cried.
Surprisingly they did not take away my knife, but told me to never ever cut something towards myself. I have always remembered this piece of wisdom due to the little scar on my hand above the webbing between my thumb and pointer finger.
Now, when I decided to call this thread the Chronicles of Don’t it came from a certain thought that occurs when I remember something that I did, experienced, or chose in the past: Ugh, don’t! Junk, already did. That was the WORST!
I’m sure that quite a few people understand this cringe inducing effect our memories can produce in us. Some refer to it as shame or regret. I try not to dwell on these words because they are so negative sounding. I don’t want to feel shamed by my memories, even if I do! I don’t want to regret anything I have or haven’t done, even if I do! I want to think of myself as a girl who can whip her hair over her shoulder at the past and walk on in complete confidence that her life is exactly as she wants it to be in the past, present, and future! But this girl does not exist outside of fictional television. And so, instead of pretending everything went the way I wanted it to, I thought all these occasions of Don’t would be better suited as writing material. After all, I can always remember a Don’t, which means I will always have something to write about.
And if you think these stories don’t sound too bad….. just wait. It gets worse.
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