Category Archives: Human Interest

Just Because.

28 Saturday May 2011

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I know, I know.  Christian girls aren’t supposed to like things like alcohol, cigarettes, and small swimsuits.  Bikinis are scandalous, even just as conversation topics, when the church or a religious group has to deal with them.  But guess what?  I so wear them.

Why do I wear a bikini?

It’s been years of struggle for me to accept my body the way it is, to treat it with respect and consideration as opposed to abuse.  It still is some days.  But when it comes to the bikini I think that these pieces of swimwear are made for a purpose: to get wet!  I love to swim, and that’s the only reason I really put on a swimsuit in the first place.  I don’t feel a strong need to parade around with my jiggle-y parts exposed as if it’s a good thing.  And as an Irish girl I don’t need to tan very often lest I want to burn horribly after about 20 minutes of sun exposure.
Aside from that, have you ever tried to use the bathroom wearing a one piece?  Not exactly easy!  And the lining in a one piece isn’t acceptable for someone shaped like me: if the top fits, the bottom doesn’t, and vice-versa.  The ability to mix and match sizes with the bikini has kept my suits on and not embarrassingly sagging or tight in any area.

Modesty VS Trend

I do believe that there are modesty issues to be had with swimwear, and that there are ways to keep oneself from being a saint in the pew that becomes a harlot on the sands.  While there is always going to be a question of how much skin is too much, I do believe that it all depends on the crowd.  When hanging out with girlfriends I don’t feel so bad about baring more; I’m a flawed being, but even if they judge me I know that I’m not making them feel lustful.  When I’m hanging out with guys in my swimsuit, I will not be seen without shorts on, and sometimes I wear a tank top in and out of the water.
I know that these actions aren’t the best way to justify wearing a bikini considering how many arguments (that I generally agree with, in fact!) there are against wearing the tiny pieces of fabric.  But I do wear them anyway, and I like to think of them as something fun to wear as opposed to something sexy.  I’ll gladly let people see my little belly roll if I’m in the middle of having fun, and perhaps some cellulite or stubble if I forgot to shave.  I’m not in the swimsuit to impress anyone, I’m just trying to enjoy myself and keep it classy like these ladies did:

Liz Taylor: Ever classy and never skanky.

Bridget Bardot: Healthy body, always up for an adventure.

My favorite Miss Marilyn: A little tummy roll and her natural hair color, adorable!

 

A Good Woman

20 Friday May 2011

Posted by in Human Interest, In Memoriam

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I haven’t updated in a while because I haven’t been writing.  It’s not what I prefer, but life has been a little bit in the way, and not always in a bad way. 
The past month or so has been full.  I’ve been learning so much about how to let God move, as opposed to planning and trying to figure things out myself.  In allowing him to guide me, by “going with the flow”, I have gained and lost friends, prayed hard and not at all, and found myself realizing the blessings of his beautiful plans in new ways.  I’ve found that I have faith in something that isn’t always pleasing in the moment, but brings joy to my heart when it’s on the verge of distress: our lives, our stories are written by the heavenly father and he has a perfect ending to each, so perfect that were I to try to write it myself it would be a mockery of his magnificent ways.
Last week a good woman died.  A friend’s mother, a wonder and inspiration to everyone that knew her.  She walked her path trusting the Lord for his plan, and I believe that through every moment of her suffering her spirit was being held close to his heart. 
This woman, who I refered to as Bad Ass even when she was at her worst, was the wife of a good man and the mother of 6 amazing boys.  Obviously I had to e-mail her (this happened almost 7 months ago) and ask her about a few things.  The responses were direct and interesting, but more than that they were helpful in their instruction and wisdom.  When she wrote about her husband and their relationship I was floored.

I was looking for a man who would encourage and challenge my faith. That would keep me on track since I knew that I wasn’t strong enough in myself to do what I knew was right. I know that may sound like a weakness, but it really isn’t. God wants us to strengthen and encourage one another and He puts us together with those who will make us into the person He wants us to be.

I have told my closest friends at times about how I will need to have a husband that will allow me to be me but know when to put my in my place.  I had no idea that these were things someone else had ever felt or considered important in their mates, and I immediately understood exactly what she was saying and that it’s true: God wants us to be with those that will help us turn into the people he wants us to be.  It makes complete sense to not be unequally yoked; one would hinder the other.
She also encouraged me to read the Bible, and I took her advice on reading with breakfast.  I still do.

I made a commitment at that time not to have breakfast if I hadn’t read my Bible. Now, some of the time that wasn’t that effective because I wasn’t a big breakfast eater anyway, but I did read my Bible. The way I figured if I had read it, God could recall any of it from my memory. If I’d never read it, He would have a more difficult time speaking to me.  It is important to do it as soon as possible in the day.

After hearing so many beautiful and funny stories of this woman at her memorial service, ranging from her youth to days before her release from the shell of her body, I felt more and more that she had completed not only her own goals for her life, but also the goals Christ had in store for her. 

You know not having any girls, I have given lots of thought to what I wish I had done. Since I dedicated my life to Christ at a Young Life Camp I’ve been yearning to become a back to the Bible kind of woman. I’m always looking for ways to become more of a Proverbs 31 woman.

I can say, with all my heart and sincerity, that she was a woman who fit into each verse of the psalm.  When planning the memorial her family had discussed what legacy she had left behind, and how her stories and her life would promote the gospel truth.  I agree, it surely will.  But I also have found such inspiration in her life and knowing her spirit that I find myself praying that this thread of her legacy, the one of a woman’s heart longing to ever be the submissive bride of God, will be seen in my life.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,
   and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
   and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
   but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
   and let her works praise her in the gates.  (Psalm 31:25-31)

And now for some almost offensive whining.

30 Wednesday Mar 2011

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  1. Something has been happening on a regular basis that’s starting to make me angry.  I am very much me, and not so much the sick girl with big tits and short hair that everyone is apparently confusing me for.  I love the girl BUT! I’m not her and I never will be; she’s been through different things in life, has a different attitude and I was born with birthing hips and a lack of certain glands and fat cells.  Get with the fucking program.
  2. Yesterday I did a fast.  There is a reason this is something noteworthy, and it’s not just my general lack of self discipline, but first I’ll explain: I had something weighing heavily on my heart and I decided that I would take a day and put the energy I would usually put into finding food into prayer and God-time.  Of course, I can’t go an entire day without food so I made it a “clean food” fast.  I made it up, obviously, and I decided that certain foods were ok (raw fruits and veggies, yogurt, granola, steamed veggies, humus) but if something was overly processed I was going to pass on it and pray for the ability to do so.  I did pretty well, and I felt really good at the end of the day aside from random things that I wasn’t so happy about.  This morning, of course, I felt like shit.  And I have proceeded to feel awful all day.  Which leads me to a concern: if doing a “clean food” fast makes me feel better, and trying to be in constant prayer and God-time makes me feel better, maybe I should try to do it all the time.  But wait!  I have a certain history of turning food into an idol!  AND I don’t think I have the strength to live like that all the time!  I get too grumpy to be in the presence of God all the time!  Especially when I’m not eating correctly!  Wtf mate. 
  3. I am so sick of people dying and I’m sick of people questioning the reasons behind life and death.  The reason behind life is to glorify the name of God.  The reason behind death is to glorify the name of God.  We will never know more than that, and it’s really all in his hands.  It’s really annoying to try to comfort someone when the only things you know to say are related to scripture and that they aren’t going to care.  It’s also really annoying to try to be there for someone when you try to encourage their walk with Christ and they are completely closed off about it, as if they are really just all set and perfectly following the path thankyouverymuch, no need for concern.  If I see evidence of sin in your life guess what?  I don’t believe you!  If you can’t talk to me, find someone else to talk to, because fellowship is a God thing the same way prayer and scripture and worship are God things.  It’s available for a reason.
  4. I think that over using the word “interesting” when you don’t want to sound radical is stupid.  Get a thesaurus!  It’s fascinating, it’s riveting, it’s unnerving, it feels like a spiritual army has been summoned to this place where we share a vision and we’re consumed with a desire to fight this battle against evil and we’re so thrilled and freaked and almost scared because we know something incredible is about to happen, but it’s not interesting anymore, at least not to those who are listening to you constantly say it’s interesting. 
  5. I’m just so convinced that most of the men I know have either very stereotypical taste in women or horrible, awful taste in women!  I can’t believe some of the connections I’ve heard of and some of the crushes I know of!  Yeah, guys-I-know, please keep all going after the same girl!  It’s so incredibly fun to watch you all throw yourselves at someone who doesn’t even REALIZE that you like them! 
  6. Sometimes I get all sentimental and look at pictures of people I’m not friends with on Facebook and find myself wondering why it is I didn’t friend them, or unfriended them.  Then I remember: because we aren’t and never were friends!  Speaking of, it’s about time to un-friend the people I’m not really friends with… it was easier when there was a little X to click instead of having to go to their page…
  7. Do you want to be a suck-tastic-selfish-asshole that loses friends faster than I can say whore?  Keep making everything about YOU!  Fer realz, just make sure that every compliment you give someone ends up pointing the spotlight right back at you (“You actually have a pretty good singing voice, I mean, I was listening to you sing along to something and you hit a high part really clearly and I was really surprised!  I just couldn’t… It was so weird for me, like, I really didn’t expect it…”), that when you miss someone you make it their fault because you tried once to call them but you couldn’t get through (mainly because you’re making it up to make them feel guilty), and never EVER listen to advice!  Especially if you ask for it!  This is a big one!  You have to remember: you’re way too smart to listen to anyone!

Sometimes, the beauty is in the attempt. Sometimes, it’s in the success!

13 Sunday Feb 2011

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In case anyone hasn’t been in the loop here’s the rundown of my past month:  I got a job while visiting a friend in MA, and after a certain amount of time I had to leave the friend’s place to go find somewhere else to stay.  Well, for a while there I couldn’t find diddly-squat, and I ended up staying with friends and mom came down and there was a hotel involved and the entire time I was still working and praying about finding a place and slowly but surely ended up losing my shame, dignity, mind, temper, and my shit.  Basically, over the past weekend I felt like I had nothing left to lose and that it was nut up or shut up time.  Then Tink’s dad told me to take a look at a store that apparently had a post about a room for rent on the other side of town, and so I tracked down the little tiny index card and called the number and set up a meeting. 
My mom and I set out from our pastor’s house where she’d been working on a puzzle and I’d been pretending to nap but ending up praying about some things and went to check out the place.  We’d driven by it earlier to make sure we knew where we were going and how far away from the commuter rail it was, and it’s maybe .3 miles.  Not bad at all.
So the man we met was really nice, had the best name ever, and he brought us right in to the house.  This is the first thing I saw.


“Is that a suit of armour in the corner of the living room?”
“Yep.”
My interest was piqued, to say the least.  Landlord showed us the kitchen area then took us up to look at the room. 

In case there is any doubt amongst you nay-sayers and the like, I would like to list all of the ways that this room matches up with what I need right now.

  • $550 a month, all included
  • Furnished with a new mattress and adorable wicker furniture
  • Esthetically pleasing, nice windows and soft afternoon light
  • Located in a central area that is near the train
  • Washer and dryer downstairs that I get to use for free

Basically, after the washer/dryer statement my jaw dropped and I told the guy he was answering my prayers.  I had already signed the contract thing, so it was a done deal anyway, but I had to let him know.  Turns out, he’s a christian, and the two other women who live in the house are christians, one of them is a working nun (!!!) and those cool suits of armour?  There’s one in the living room and one next to the front door as reminders to put on the full armour of God.  If that weren’t enough, my future-landlord said that next month they are re-plastering the walls in my room and if I wanted to pick out a color for the walls I could.  And there’s an adorable wrap around porch in the front of the house that would be perfection for lemonade in the summer.
So I have a room.  I have a home base, starting tomorrow.  I absolutely don’t know what to do with myself.  I don’t know what to think of anymore since I have been putting all of my focus on praying and worrying about finding a place.  I’ve pretty much just been riding the excitement and joy wave that this has created, and got to do it extra hard over the phone when I told Tink about it.  She even pointed out that it’s possible that God made me wait for the room so that my boss would up my hours, since last week she offered to give me 30 to 35 hours a week.  And if that’s not proof enough that God has a way with these things, when I told the landlord where I found the sign for the room, at the store on that tiny note-card, he told me that he put the card up months ago. 
So listen up folks, here’s what I want any and everyone to remember when it comes to this story:  Sometimes you need to be patient and pray harder than you’re used to and actually get other people involved and so many other things that you didn’t expect or want.  But in the end, God provides.  He just did it for me, and I’ve seen him do it for others, and I can’t even write much more than this simple fact at this point in time.  God provides.  It’s not always in the ways we thought he would, and sometimes what we plan isn’t as good as his plan.  It doesn’t really matter, because he will always be able to do what he wants with who he wants.

“Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.  The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.  I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.  I have set the Lord always before me.  Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” – Psalm 16:5&6

As the Muggles say, “Truth will out.”

26 Wednesday Jan 2011

Posted by in Dirty's Reports, Human Interest

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Weird morning.  I woke up and reset my alarm because I wanted to sleep and had a dream I asked my roomie to make me coffee and when I woke up there was no coffee.  I also didn’t want to burn my mouth with coffee and succeeded in poking the roof of my mouth with a cracker.  Hot mess, party of one.
So I was supposed to go home for a visit but Dad didn’t want me to get stuck there in inclement weather so we decided that it was a no-go and instead I worked and hung out with Tiger, successfully crashing Lumberjack’s rehearsal and using the cover story of “My name is Regina Phalange, this is my partner Mohammad Ovaltine.  I’m a talent scout and if I can bring in a few more badges I’ll be a Troop Leader by February.  I like your style, I think you’re very talented.”
Today I have to deal with a situation that I wish I didn’t have to deal with ever in my life.  I usually don’t pay attention to what people say about me or think about me, it’s like a glitch in my brain.  But when I hear someone saying something that’s extremely untrue, like calling me their girlfriend, I get upset.  I do not like lies that implicate that I belong to someone, and considering the way that this information has been spreading I’m pretty sure it’s not implicating any feelings on my behalf.  My feelings, by the way, are along the lines of getting really angry, not because of the rumors necessarily but because I have asked this person to stop, and I’ve told them that it bothers me, and they turn the entire thing around and try to make me seem immature.  Meanwhile they are telling everyone they talk to that we’re an item, a couple, Russian, mermaids, wizards and other fantastical things.
The issue is that my automatic reaction to this kind of thing is to flip on the person that is flapping their pie hole and never speak to them again.  But I’m currently trying to keep my friendships, especially the ones that have proven themselves to be worth my time, and I am still going to fight for this one.  It just so happens that in order to keep a friendship I have to fight the friend, and it’s most likely going to be an obnoxious situation, especially with all the double talk I’ve been hearing. 
A few of my friends have given me “advice” and it ranges from “you need to stand in the truth” to “you guys would make ugly babies“.  So far they’ve been about as helpful as the chipmunks I asked for directions to the library last week.  But I have remembered that I need to pull a Romans 12:9&10.

“Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves.”

So while I’d like to do about a million non-loving things to this person, I am reminded of my own post from a while ago where I described how I’m trying to love my friends.  And since God put each person in my life in certain places for certain reasons, I’m going to pray and focus on what is true and what God would have me say in this situation to really get the point across without using as much me as I would usually.