Category Archives: Human Interest

The Belief System of 25-year-old Me (part 2)

13 Friday Jul 2012

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  1. God places us wherever he chooses, places people in our lives according to his plans, and lets us go through things that are difficult and pleasant, for our good. This is not for our happiness, for our comfort, for our enjoyment. It’s for our good. According to Hebrews it’s got everything to do with handling the discepline that a father would give his child in order to bring it up in the way that is correct, and according to Romans it has nothing to do with anything fuzzy.

    “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28

  2. If bass lines were men I would be a slut-bucket.
  3. Be who you are without abrasive force upon others.
  4. Let others be who they are, even when there is abrasive force.
  5. Socks must be worn to bed unless it is 100 degrees in the room.

The belief system of 25-year-old me (part 1)

11 Wednesday Jul 2012

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Hey kids and my mother!  It’s time to take a few minutes and learn some things!  I am making a list and checking it not at all of all the things I find to be truths in my life.  Some of them are biblical.  Some of them of logical.  Some of them are not.  I’m calling it The Belief System of 25-year-old Me in 5 Parts.  It is in honor of my birthday, which is on saturday, and starting to depress and scare the shit out of me.  So I figured, hey, why not make a list?  A list of things I know about life!  I’ll make it a list of 25 things, so it matches my age!  And there you have my thought process.  So here we go!

  1. Using your cell phone while spending time with someone is pretty much offensive.  I’m pretty defensive of my quality time with people, and I’ve let some get away with this, but I find that when a person doesn’t bring out their phone I appreciate the time all the more.  Don’t get me wrong, I use my cell phone in front of people all the time, but I’m now attempting to put an end to that rubbish.
  2. Saying that you hate drama generally coincides with a dramatic nature. 
  3. If you don’t say something out loud it doesn’t exist.  No one knows what your thinking until its said out loud. Nothing is official until it is given a name. No matter how someone acts the feeling don’t exist unless they admit to them out loud. What is between 2 people that is left unspoken is potentially damaging when unsaid.  For example: Ron and Hermione.  Proof.  Pudding.
  4. Happiness, joy and peace are all very different things.  You can have any or all, at the same time and at different times.
  5. Saying things behind someone’s back that you would say to their face is still talking about them behind their back.  It’s gossip. I’m guilty of it, but that doesn’t make it right. It’s usually mean.  It’s time to end this stupid habit and behave like an adult.

Church Thoughts.

02 Monday Jul 2012

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Today at one of my churches the discussion was marriage.  The first thing I would like to say is that yes, I now say one of my churches and I have been wondering how many I can belong to before the “officials” track me down and make me commit to only one.  The second is that marriage has been in so many of the sermons I’ve heard recently that I’m afraid that I’m supposed to be paying attention for some reason.

The main thing that the pastor and his wife were discussing (at least to me and my attention span) was how people need different things from marriage partners.  It’s not even down to 5 Love Languages anymore it’s all the way up to a 10 Needs Worksheet.  The “homework” for married folks was to discuss their top 3 needs and how to meet them with each other.  I was interested but sort of disappointed because it’s not something I can really apply to my life at the moment.  I have to make note of it and remember to review it if/when the time comes for me to start planning the house party that will be the send off to my honeymoon. 

(For the record, according to the quiz for the 5 Love Languages I am all about Receiving Gifts, which is interesting considering I don’t get them from many people aside from my mother.  I sure as heck haven’t gotten many at all from any of the guys I have ever been involved with.  And I do not like meaningless things, last minute grab off the shelf items that have nothing to do with me.  The next on the list was Quality Time, which makes sense.  I like it a lot.  After that was Words of Affirmation.)

The 10 Needs Worksheet contained the following:  Attention (care), Acceptance, Appreciation (praise), Support (bear burdens), Encouragement, Affection, Approval, Security (peace), Comfort (empathy), and Respect (honor). 

I figured out the first thing that I will need from a relationship whenever that goes down.  It was the first thing on the list that I was drawn to, the first thing that I understood really well without having to think about it:  Security.

Definition of SECURITY

 1: the quality or state of being secure: as

            a: freedom from danger : safety

            b: freedom from fear or anxiety

            c: freedom from the prospect of being laid off

2          a: something given, deposited, or pledged to make certain the fulfillment of an obligation

            b: surety

3: an instrument of investment in the form of a document (as a stock certificate or bond) providing evidence of its ownership

4          a: something that secures: protection

            b (1): measures taken to guard against espionage or sabotage, crime, attack, or escape

                        (2): an organization or department whose task is security

Do I fully understand this?  Eh, not really.  Do I understand partially?  Sure.  I’ve been in very insecure place much more of the time than I would like to have been.  I have been in positions where trusting God was the only security in my life, and I was not happy about it, to be honest.  And yet I continue to get myself into these situations.  I continue to pursue what is wrong for me, and to fold to whatever hand is dealt.  I don’t want to do that any more.  I want to be able to know without the shadow of a doubt that there is something mutual, something based on a relationship with God, something exclusive and intentional happening.  I don’t want to deal with subtle, with games, with signals.  What, are we supposed to communicate through fire puffs like Native Americans?  Do we have symbols to decode?  Do I need to learn how to understand key words?  Because I am unwilling to respond to anything that isn’t direct.  And if there is a doubt then there shouldn’t be initiation.  I want security.  I want peace. 

Tv Teaches Me Things part 1

14 Monday May 2012

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Something I learned from the New Girl: When unable to deal with life make like Nick and go batshit crazyCRAZYPANTS

This guy knows how to let himself be upset! He doesn’t just wallow, he relishes and drenches himself in his pain and suffering. I generally handle breakups like “an adult”, which means quietly and with respect for others. But they aren’t usually as concerned about my effect on them as I am, so why not just become a hot mess that backslides? Why not drunk dial? Why not swear off love in favor of growing tomatoes? Why not allow myself to be the wreck I am for a while? It happens!
Now I’m not talking about emotionalism, which generally means an undue influence of feelings upon thought and behavior. So while this sounds a lot like what I’m writing about, I’d like to make a few points.
First off, I don’t think that emotions should rule the way we live and behave, if I did I wouldn’t be a Christian. The bible has many emotions in it, and God made us as emotional beings, but when it comes down to what is right and wrong how we feel about it don’t mean shit.
Secondly, while it may sound like I’m advocating for a momentary laps into emotionalism that is only because I kind of am. When plugging away at life and pushing my real feelings down so that I appear to be “normal” I always find that eventually I lose my mind in a way that is less like a crazy homeless woman and more like a terrorist trying to destroy the body I live in. I have a history of taking things out on myself instead of verbalizing, and if starting a project or expressing my madness will keep me honest and safe from my own nature, I’ll take it.
I’m just really glad that even when I decide to let myself go crazy, God knows how to find me in the middle of my crazy and remind me of who is bigger, and who is smaller.

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What I’ve Learned About Life From School Thus Far.

25 Wednesday Apr 2012

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  1. I’ve developed this technique that I use whenever I want someone to continue doing something, it is being super positive about whatever it is that I want him or her to do continually.  The only problem is that when it comes to doing this to guys it involves complimenting them in a way that makes me sound like a horny grandmother. A kid at school gets his awful perm cut off and my response is “You look so handsome!  I didn’t know you were so handsome before!” and “Look, he’s got a good smile!  I couldn’t see it past that awful jerry curl.”  I know that those aren’t the best examples, but considering the fact that I mean these compliments in platonic ways and they can be taken in any way, shape or form… Yeah.  I’m not going to stop doing it anytime soon.  Too much fun.
  2. Each and every Gran in existence has the right idea about things.  Why not get your hair set once or twice a week?  All that gel adds volume, and you get to have a great Do for days.  That and layering on the lipstick, which should smell just like lipstick, and you have instant class.
  3. I need breakfast and coffee every morning before school or else I could become demon possessed.  I went crazy on Monday, quite a sight from what I understand, because of a lack of breakfast sandwich and iced coffee with caramel and cream.  Funny, my ex’s dad thought that Harry Potter would be the way I would get myself a demon, but it turns out it’s caffine deprivation.
  4. Everyone is insecure in some way.  That manifests in different forms: fear of everything, a need to be better than, a need to be desirable to the opposite gender, questioning one’s own abilities or even the simple waffling of the mind.  It’s something that backs so many actions that I can’t get mad at people when I look at their real incentives.
  5. Loyalty is hard to come by.  This isn’t entirely new to me, as I learned what loyalty is by being the opposite of the definition.  My best friend in the entire world taught me where the lines were because I kept on crossing them.  At this point I’m still learning continually how to be as loyal as she is, but I can see clearly how it isn’t played out with everyone and how it affects the trust that you thought was built in a friendship.
  6. Everyone has an agenda, and if you’re not a part of it you’re in the way.
  7. Ecclesiastes 3:15 – “That which is now already has been, and that which is to be already has been; and God seeks that which has passed by [so that history repeats itself].”  Everything that is in the world of fashion, the world of beauty, is an altered image of something we have already seen.  That’s the way it goes.  What is new is just something that is old filtered through a new lens.  An understanding of this is what helps enable you to create new things.