Using My Lens To Refocus

Tags

, ,

Over the past few years a lot of people have died. People I knew well, people I wanted to know, people I had known my entire life and hardly begun to start a relationship with, people I was friends with at school, people I worked with, people I grew up with, people I never met whose death shaped my dear friends. These days I find it difficult to live outside of the moments of sadness that overcome me when I remember anything, a single thought goes to something of one of them and I’m all of a sudden so sad. Or an anniversary or a birthday will come around and I will have the deep blue-black shades drawn over the windows of my heart, while outside I try to smile. It can be so difficult to enjoy life, to see what is good and joyful and wonderful, when all I can feel is the sadness of missed opportunities and disappointment at my own failure at being able to stop these tragedies.

And then… Then something, or someone, comes along and reminds me that there is so much more coming. He makes me raise the shades and see the sunshine.
Brady&mum&dad
My very best friend in the entire world squeezed and pushed (and ultimately lay on a table and had removed from her) a beautiful baby boy. I had the joy of being able to be at the hospital, and getting to take some pictures of him. He didn’t like the little beeping and light on the camera.
BN
Look at him, he looks so wise and grumpy! Babies really do look like old men at times. Born 4:41pm, at over 9lbs and something like 20.25 inches long, Brady was welcomed with much love.
BAM
Even Maxwell wanted to meet him, which was super adorable.
B
And my dad got to have some Brady-bonding time. Super cute!
BaD
dirty

Same Old, Sort Of.

Tags

, , ,

DANCE

I just made a chicken salad with bacon toasted cheese sandwich, which I am choosing to enjoy with whiskey on ice. When I got home from work I decided to do part of a yoga DVD and an entire Dancercize DVD.

On a side note, Dancercize is excellent because you feel like a complete idiot and you can’t understand what the instructor is doing. Then about halfway through you sort of figure it out and begin to feel like Jessica Alba in Honey, start putting your own little spin on it, then you realize you can’t see what they are doing because sweat is pouring down your face. You end up feeling tired, and a little bit awesome because you just did that entire DVD, even if it was barely 30 minutes.

Tonight I am celebrating. I am celebrating the changes that are happening in my life, not necessarily the changes that life is bringing me, but the changes that are happening from the inside out. I have made a decision to pursue a goal that requires me to get my act together. Thankfully it is one that will require preparation and prayer and really getting back into the Word, and that is only something that I will be able to do by asking for God to help me do it. It would seem that I completely forget that if I ask Him to help me He will. For some reason I think that I need to get myself back on track, and forget that without the H. Sizzle I am completely useless. I need God to change me from the inside out (again. Ugh.). And I am willing to be submissive, so I’ve decided to start asking on a regular basis. I might turn into The Worst, constantly praying and needing and whatnot, but I have a feeling that my version of The Worst is very different from His.

Speaking of changes from the inside out, today I found my first white hair. Not gray, white. Like, blinding white, all the way to the root. Obviously 26 has a lot of great things in store for me. Changes await, and I am not even scared!dirty

Dirty Dozen: What I Do At Work

Tags

, , ,

dramaticpug

  1. There are products that we sell.
  2. There are repairs that we take in.
  3. We check our emails.
  4. We decorate the store.
  5. I move the products around so they look different.
  6. I read books sometimes.
  7. My boss gets bored and buys jewelry, snacks, and $200 worth of buffalo meat online.
  8. My boss and co-worker talk at me.  Not always to me.  At me.
  9. My boss lets me change the radio station.  My co-worker believes it will get us all fired.
  10. My boss feeds me cheezits, mozzarella sticks, chicken wings, pasta salad, potato salad, cake, cheeseburgers, cookies.
  11. My co-worker brings in home made chicken wings and baked beans.
  12. My boss and my coworker compare varicose veins.

dirty

Today is my Birthday.

Tags

, , , ,

photo (3)This year I feel like I’ve only learned one thing that’s noteworthy: if you can survive a loved one’s death you can live through any heartache or break that comes along.

“He heals the brokenhearted
    and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars;
    he gives to all of them their names.
Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;
    his understanding is beyond measure.” – Psalm 147:3-5
dirty

Why you should read “Don’t Worry, It Gets Worse”

Tags

itgetsworse

  1. Alida Nugent is obviously a wizard who reads minds. She is speaking directly to me in 80% of the book.
  2. In addition to me, she is speaking to my generation of girls who have graduated college and still don’t understand adulthood.
  3. It’s very funny.
  4. Reading books like this help me keep inspired to continue writing. Support my inspiration by supporting her!dirty